


Accepting Love

by AskAry



Series: High School Years [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bullying, Eventual Armin Arlert/Jean Kirstein, High School Student Eren Yeager, Jean x Armin - Freeform, Jearmin - Freeform, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Protective Eren Yeager, Sexual Content, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, teenager mikasa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-05-25 23:00:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 38,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6213613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AskAry/pseuds/AskAry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"A person's true feelings can't be dictated by the amount of time they spend with someone, but rather, how that time is spent."</p><p>High school is something everyone goes through, and whether that experience is good or bad, is up to you. The friends you make along the way, the enemies, the bullies, the teachers... a crush? All of these people play an important factor on how someone will make it through their first four years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Day

Full Summary:

 

"A person's true feelings can't be dictated by the amount of time they spend with someone, but rather, how that time is spent."

High school is something everyone goes through, and whether that experience is good or bad, is up to you. The friends you make along the way, the enemies, the bullies, the teachers... a crush? All of these people play an important factor on how someone will make it through their next four years.

Armin Arlert begins his freshman year, alongside his two close friends; Eren Yeager, and Mikasa Ackerman. Both of which, seem to be highly protective over him. Armin, even though he's extremely intelligent, his physical appearance seems to have the bad habit of attracting bullies. Much to his disdain, this leaves his only two friends to protect him from harm.

Mikasa, although as strong as an ox, sometimes forgets to hold back. So, in the rare case that she does get into a brawl, someone would come out bloody. And Eren, who is not quite as strong, is fueled mostly by his anger. Which seems to get him into trouble, more often than not. Because of these facts, the fear of losing his friends, and either of them possibly becoming harmed, Armin is forced to keep many secrets from them. More than he would like to.

Coincidentally, a new student has transferred to Trost High school. And his name; Jean Kirstein. A boy with a troubled past, frightening emotions, and an unbelievably cocky grin split across his face.

Due to a disastrous series of events, Armin and Jean grow closer throughout their school year. (Much to the disgust of Eren.) And somehow, Armin finds himself hiding his true emotions from the other teen. What actually happened in the teenagers troubled pasts? Why can neither boy admit to their true feelings? And, can conflicting emotions split the two apart?

"Somethings are best left unspoken. But, on occasion, the truth must conquer."

~End of Summary~

 

Chapter one

(The First Day)

Pov: **Armin**

 

He stood in front of the closet mirror with a slight frown. Armin wore a gray hoodie and dark jeans, along with a pair of ragged tennis shoes. With hesitation, he pinched his cheek between his index finger and thumb, followed by an agitated sigh. They were far too feminine, too soft, too round. His nose was small, his skin was pale. Armin didn't want that. He didn't want this tiny, frail body. It was useless, completely useless. He was convinced that masculinity was attractive for males his age. Armin flexed his arms and to his disappointment, he was quite the opposite of someone you would describe to be buff.

 

He snatched the comb off of his counter and attempted to brush his blonde locks back into a small quiff. _All the men in the magazines look great with that hairstyle,_ Armin thought. As he glanced back into the mirror, the boy snickered at his own reflection; a quiff definitely didn't suit him. When he fixed his hair once more each blonde strand fell into place perfectly. Armin's bangs hung down his forehead and barely touched his eyebrows. He's never changed his hairstyle before, and he didn't plan on it.

 

"The bus will be here any minute now, Armin!" His grandfather sounded from downstairs.

 

Armin smiled, causing his bright blue eyes to light up cheerfully. Within seconds he had slung his backpack over his shoulder and rushed downstairs to greet his grandfather. His grandfather meant the world to him. The old man was strong, smart, and best of all, his father's dad, the only family Armin had left in this world. His grandfather was his hero, his inspiration, his _everything_.

 

"Goodbye, see you after school Grandpa!" Armin grinned, rushing towards the front door.

 

"Wait, Armin. Are you not going to eat breakfast?" The man's dull blue eyes filled with confusion as he lifted his cane to step forward. "That's why you are so small. You really need to eat more."

 

"Right, right, I know... But, I really don't have time grandpa." The momentary smile slipped from Armin's lips. He pushed open the door with a sigh before walking across the street and towards the bus stop. The boy knew his grandfather meant well and was just looking after him. But, he couldn't help but let the words get to his head. Was his size really that noticeable? 

 

Armin shook the negative thoughts out of his mind when the bus pulled towards him. As the doors opened, a burly old man was revealed, sitting in the driver's seat. He wore a brown button up uniform, covered in coffee stains.

 

"Hurry up." The man barked, brushing his fingers through his stiff, gray beard. "I don't have all day ya' know?" Armin nodded politely and stepped onto the awaiting bus; a few more kids arrived and entered after him.

 

Almost instantly, the boy began looking for his two, and only, friends; Mikasa and Eren. However, they were sitting together, on a two-person per-seat bus. Armin looked around himself and saw an empty seat next to the two of them. He stepped forward to go sit down, only for two other kids to shove past him and take its place. They didn't even apologize...

 

"Here, Armin." He heard Mikasa say. The short teen turned around to see Mikasa standing up, about to leave her seat. "You can sit here." He shook his head dismissively.

 

"No it's okay. I have someone else to sit with." Armin smiled reassuringly. Mikasa shrugged her shoulders and sat back down, returning to her previous conversation with Eren. Armin made his way towards the back of the bus, taking the closest empty seat possible. 

 

The blonde didn't really have anyone to sit with like he had said. But, the boy would feel much too guilty if Mikasa moved just for him. So... He sat by himself. The bus lurched forward and Armin grasped the seat in front of him for support, as to not be launched into the aisle.

 

As he settled back into his seat, Armin reached into his bag, pulling out a book. This was one of his favorites, he's been reading for a while now. It was entitled, "The Great Gatsby." A classic novel.

 

The bus stopped once more to pick up a few more kids. And once again, Armin clutched to the seat as to not be thrown forward. He chuckled quietly when a few kids behind himself face-planted into the blue seats that filled the bus.

 

"It's only the first day and some stupid  _freshman_ is already taking our seat." A boy scoffed, towering over the small blonde. Armin closed his book slowly and looked up at the black-haired boy. This boy was only a few inches taller than himself. And an ugly sneer was etched across the stranger's face. Armin stood quickly, muttering profuse apologies under his breath. The boy only rolled his eyes, before pushing Armin down into another seat from across the bus aisle. Armin felt his eyes dialate in surprise.

 

"Just shut up and sit down." A girl spat, taking a seat next to the black-haired bully. 

 

 _How mature._ Armin thought sarcastically.

 

Armin put his book away with a frown; he's already being picked on, and on the first day no less...

 

The blonde looked over his shoulder to see someone was already sitting in the seat that he was pushed into. The student he sat next to was staring out the window, they had an undercut and light brown bangs hung over thier eyes. Armin looked closer and noticed this boy had earbuds in. So, he must not of noticed, or heard, what had happened. Armin tapped on the boy's shoulder to get his attention.

 

"I-Is it okay if I sit here?" He asked when the stranger turned his head slightly. He had a somewhat long nose and a sharp jaw line. The boy was handsome, strong, obviously athletic, perhaps best described as Armin's complete opposite. His eyes were an odd shade of golden-brown and narrowed slightly.

 

"Huh? Oh, yeah, it's cool." The boy replied, turning his gaze back towards the window. And then, Armin exhaled nervously. The boy next to him seemed quite handsome. But, Armin wasn't interested in a relationship, nor was he cut out for one. The blonde somewhat believed that he wasn't interesting enough for that sort of thing...

 

The bus halted to a stop, and once again everyone around Armin slammed against their seats. Except for Armin of course, unlike the others, he learned quickly from experience.

 

The bus driver obviously didn't know how to use the brakes properly.

 

Armin stood up hastily, rushed off of the bus, and made his way towards the school's entrance. Students piled into the front doors of Trost high school, pushing Armin out of the way with ease. With an unnoticeable snarl the small blonde pushed through the mass of students and walked towards the office. An old woman greeted him at the front desk.

 

"Name and grade, please?" She asked, shuffling through a large stack of paperwork. Armin stepped forward nervously.

 

"Armin Arlert, grade nine, mam." He spoke, peeking at his watch, classes started in five minutes.

 

"Here you are." The lady smiled, handing Armin his schedule. He took it from her hand gently. "Classrooms 1-10 are down the far left hall; classrooms 11-19 are down the far right hall." She continued on.

 

"Thank you." Armin grinned, looking for his first period class on the sheet of paper. The woman watched him gleefully.

 

"If you get lost, don't be afraid to ask someone, young lady." She commented, typing away at her computer. Armin felt his cheeks grow bright pink. This wasn't the first time someone mistook him for the wrong gender. It was very frustrating to say the least.

 

"Actually, I'm not a-" The bell rang, giving him no time to tell her differently. "Goodbye!" He finished, rushing out of the office.

 

If he was late on the first day, during the first class period no less, that would definitely draw unwanted attention towards him. And that was the last thing he wanted.

 

Armin scrolled through his schedule and found his first hour class. Art 1, room 1.

 

***

 

He was the first one in the Art room that hour. The room consisted of eight large tables, with stools seated next to them. The teacher's desk sat at the back of the classroom next to a large window, which allowed a bright stream of light to cascade inside. Armin sat on a stool that was close enough for the teacher to see him, but not so close that he seemed like a teacher's pet. That was something he always subconsciously worried about...

 

Armin looked around the class to see if he had any friends in this period. Unfortunately, Eren and Mikasa didn't have this class with him.

 

A few more students walked in as the blonde took out his sketchbook to pass the time. And soon after, the bell rang, signaling the start of the class. All of the seats were filled, except for one.

 

 _Did someone really not come to school? On the first day?_ Armin thought.

 

"Hello everyone, My name is Mr. McGuire." A gravelly voice spoke, walking into the classroom. Armin turned around to see a somewhat chubby man walk in. He was wearing a white polo, dress pants, and a light brown jacket. The man had thin, dark hair and a matching goatee. "And Because your last Art 1 teacher was fired for stealing the art supplies, you have to try to put up with me now. Good luck."

 

Armin already liked this new teacher. He didn't seem too bad, and had a sense of humor. Somehow, the boy knew he would enjoy this class.

 

"Because it's the first day of school, we'll be-"

 

The creak of the classroom door opening and closing erupted inside the quiet classroom, followed by shuffling feet. Armin looked up just in time to see someone slide into their stool causing a loud, obnoxious screech to fill the room. With a frown, Armin inspected the late arrival. He had light brown hair, a long nose, golden-brown eyes, and a cocky smirk. _It's the boy from the bus; he's almost five minutes late!_ Armin thought, looking down at his watch.

 

"You're late." The teacher stated, his gaze fixated on the brown-haired boy. "What's your name?"

 

"Jean Kirstein, Sir. Sorry 'bout that; it won't happen again."

 

"I guess It's fine since it's your first day at Trost." Mr. McGuire mumbled. "Just don't let it happen again."

 

 _Jean?_ Armin thought. _That's a nice name. He must be a new student._

 

"Sure thing." Jean replied, mockingly saluting the man. The teacher rolled his eyes before turning his attention back to the class.

 

"As I was saying, It's your first day, so I guess... Do whatever you feel like doing, as long as it is art related." Armin nodded, and continued sketching away on his paper. He wanted to draw the ocean. Even more so, he wanted to add color to it, he hasn't painted in a while. The blonde flipped through his old drawings until he found one of the ocean that he liked. His sketches of the ocean took up most of his notebook... Armin copied the drawing down, fixed a few errors, and stood up to grab some watercolors.

 

Just then, his eyes made contact with Jean's while he pushed in his stool.

 

 _Was he staring at me? Ah... he must have been spacing off..._ Armin chuckled to himself. He pulled open a drawer marked: "Water Paints" and grabbed a blue-green palette. Armin brushed his bangs out of the way and tucked them behind his ears. He felt ridiculous doing that, but he couldn't paint with hair in his face. After picking up a paint brush, paper towel and a cup of water, he turned around to go back to his seat. Everything was going smoothly...

 

_So far, so good._

 

Suddenly, the boy felt something wet slam into his chest, causing him to drop all the supplies. Light blue paint began to trickle down his hoodie, soaking into his clothes. The blonde grimaced regretfully.

 

And then, he lifted his eyes, meeting the gaze of a girl who had her blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. She was holding a flat paint tray with an eerie smile stretched across her cheeks. She had small pink lips, and dull blue eyes, one of which were covered by her long bangs. The girl seemed agitated for some reason... _Why?_ Armin thought to himself, _She's not the one with paint all over her._

 

"Watch where you're going." She snarled, pushing Armin back a bit. Armin lowered his gaze as he took a step backwards. The girl leaned closer and whispered a threat into his ear. "Stay away from the new kid... he's mine."

 

"Annie, please stop talking." Their teacher grumbled, "Your voice annoys me..." The man pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "Armin, you're excused to use the restroom."

 

Annie huffed, returning to her seat. Armin watched sadly as a few girls gave her celebratory high-fives, giggling quietly. Had she planned to dump paint all over him? He exited the classroom quickly with tears forming in the corner of his eyes, but he willed them away.

 

Despite his extreme embarrassment Armin refused to cry over something as silly as that. Even if a really hot guy, (who may or may not be named Jean) witnessed the whole ordeal. Armin rushed towards the boys bathroom, hoping to wash off the paint before it dried. But a voice yelling, "Hey!" stopped him from entering.

 

"Excuse me what do you think you are doing?" A man said from behind him. Armin looked up at the very... _tall..._ man through the corner of his eye. This man had perfectly combed blonde hair and vibrant blue eyes. He was the principal of Trost High school. He stood with confidence and spoke clearly; much unlike Armin...

 

"The girl's restroom is down that hall." The principal said, pointing behind himself. Armin's face burned into a bright shade of red whilst his shoulders slouched downwards.

 

"I'm not a girl." Armin protested, turning around to fully face the man. In reaction, the Principal squinted and he tilted his head sideways.

 

"Oh, it's you, the Arlert boy. I thought you were Krista Lenz! ...I apologize. Erm, C-carry on." The principle muttered, before backing away awkwardly and turning down the hall. With a frustrated growl Armin marched into the restroom and grabbed multiple paper towels. How could his own principle not know he was a boy!?

 

"I'm not a girl!" Armin growled pounding his fist into the sink. A sharp throb traveled through his wrist and up his arm. "Ow! Ow, ow, ow..." He cradled his now throbbing hand into his chest. Armin gritted his teeth together, and calmed his anger before attempting to scrub his now paint-covered hoodie.

 

"I hope this isn't acrylic..." Armin mumbled, taking the hoodie off completely. He set the piece of clothing on the sink's ledge before sighing in frustration.

 

Armin gazed at his reflection in the dirty bathroom mirror scrutinizing each detail of his face. His button nose, his pink lips, his puffy cheeks, his blonde hair, his blue eyes, his long eyelashes; down to the very last detail. He really didn't look _too_ much like a girl, but if someone just glanced at him, they could easily be confused, or mistaken.

 

 _The receptionist at the office must not have good vision, she is old after all._ Armin told himself. _And the Principle, he is much taller than me, so he may not have gotten a good look at my face before saying that. He was also looking at me from behind, and I guess my hair is getting pretty long... And Annie? Well, she's just rude..._ Armin put on his now wet hoodie and sighed, attempting to dab it dry with more paper towels.

 

What did Armin do to make that Annie girl so annoyed? He could still remember how she stared at him with an unreadable expression and narrowed eyes. Was she upset that Jean was looking at him? It couldn't be that, could it? ...Armin wasn't ready for a relationship anyways, he found them to be much too distracting. Nevertheless, he couldn't help but wonder if Jean and Annie could ever be a couple. The thought alone caused an unexplained wave of jealousy to wash over him.

 


	2. Oh Really?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and Armin get some more interaction. And Armin just so happens to bump into Jean's mom after school.

Chapter Two

(Oh Really?)

Pov: **Armin**

Armin arrived at the lunchroom a few minutes later than everyone else. As he hobbled over to his friend's table their expressions went from happy, to worried. Armin winced as he sat down with his tray, smiling weakly at his friends.

"Hey man, are you alright?" Eren asked from across the table.

"...Who did this?" Mikasa questioned, malice laced through her tone.

Armin looked down at his blue splattered hoodie and shrugged. Turns out, the paint _was_ acrylic, and it didn't come off. Plus, he had physical education the hour before. Coach Shadis decided to play a game of football. Armin didn't do very well to say the least. His hair was tangled, his face was scratched up a bit, and he was very, _very_ sore. Athletic activities were not a strong-suit of his.

"Tackle football...P.E." He managed to reply, shoving a spoonful of the schools' bland applesauce in his mouth.

"And your clothes?" Eren prodded further.

"I... Art. Someone bumped into me, on accident. It was a mess." Armin lied with a small chuckle, he didn't want his friends to worry about him, or go around beating people up for him. Armin knew he could handle his own battles, he didn't need their help.

"Sounds like you're having a pretty bad first day, huh?" Eren laughed taking a sip of his water. Mikasa elbowed him sharply, and he began to choke on the half-swallowed liquid. The black-haired girl, Mikasa, snorted in amusement while Eren sent a harsh glare in her direction. "What was that for?!" An involuntary snarl escaped his lips.

"Don't be rude, Eren. Or would you like me to tell him what happened in third hour?" Mikasa warned, glancing at Armin.

"What happened?" Armin asked, now full of curiosity.

"Nothing important." Eren quickly replied, his bangs falling over his green eyes as he looked down. The brunette turned his head to the side and gave Mikasa a look that said: "You better not tell him."

"Eren got into a fight." She whispered. Armin rolled his eyes, of course he did. Eren had a problem with his anger, and Armin wouldn't deny it if someone said Eren had anger issues or over-reactive tendencies.

"On the first day, really Eren?" Armin asked in a dull tone.

"The asshole had it coming." Eren replied coolly, crushing his now empty bottle of water. Armin winced slightly at his choice of words. He wasn't very fond of cursing and didn't really believe in fighting. So whenever his friends got into fights it conflicted a lot with his moral choices.

"You were just mad because he proved you wrong." Mikasa stated bluntly, sticking out her tongue. Armin began to zone out of their conversation, slowly picking at his food.

"Well, maybe if he wasn't giving you the lovey-dovey eyes it wouldn't have happened!"

"Eren please, I can protect myself." Mikasa scoffed.

"I don't care! Jean better watch his back." Eren protested standing from the table. Armin felt his ears perk up at the mention of Jean's name.

"Jean?" Armin asked, suddenly intrigued. But, Eren had already left to throw away his trash.

"Yeah He's new here, _apparently_. Eren was mad when he complimented my hair, and told Jean to stop flirting." Mikasa said, twirling a strand of her black hair between her fingers. "But, Jean simply said he was just being nice. Ugh.." She groaned. "Eren is cool and all... But, he's a bit overprotective, you know? I mean I am too, but-"

Armin nodded while she spoke, completely uninterested in her situation. He had caught Jean looking in his direction, yet again, from across the lunchroom. Armin felt his face heat up and Mikasa narrowed her cold gray eyes.

"What are you looking at?" She asked, looking over her shoulder. But, Jean had already turned away. "I don't see anything."

"I-It was nothing." Armin insisted, standing from the table and picking up his half eaten lunch. Mikasa shrugged, returning to her food.

As he dumped the contents of the tray into the trash he couldn't help but think; _I should have eaten that_. His grandfather's words replayed in his head. _"That's why you're so small."_

***

The final bell rang and Armin stood, ready to leave his last class, English. He was the first one out of the door and sprinted towards the bus. He needed to get to his job on time today, or they would definitely fire him! Armin enjoyed working, it gave him something to do when his friends weren't around. Plus, it was always nice to have a little extra money...

The bus started up and almost closed it's doors before another passenger rushed inside. Armin glanced behind himself and noticed every seat was full, except for his.

"Is it fine if I sit here?" The late arrival asked. Armin looked up and into a pair of golden-brown eyes.

"Sure, Jean." He replied scooting over.

"Thanks, you're Armin, right?" Jean questioned, setting his backpack in his lap. Armin smiled in response, someone actually knew his name without him having to tell them.

"Yeah."

"Are you the guy everyone keeps calling a girl, the one in my Art class? Oh, your hoodie is still blue huh?..."

Armin shrugged sadly, scooting farther towards the window. The two of them sat in a painfully awkward silence, waiting for the bus to pull away. Then, as the bus gently started forward, Jean decided to speak up.

"Hmm...I don't see it."

"Huh?" Armin questioned looking back at Jean. Was he talking about the paint? Because he was pretty sure everyone could see that.

"You look like a boy to me, maybe not a very manly one, but still a guy nonetheless..." Armin rolled his eyes, but Jean continued on. He seemed to be a brutally honest type of person. "Don't believe those who tell you otherwise, okay? They're just punks with self-esteem issues."

"Thanks." Armin smiled. "I-" The bus hurled forward and Armin grasped the window sill to steady himself, while Jean flung forward. Just inches before Jean's face collided against the seat in front of him, Armin grabbed his shoulder and yanked him back.

"Whoa, close call... I appreciate it, man. I could've broken my nose." Jean chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. Armin nodded before standing up.

"This is my stop." He said, attempting to step around the brown-haired boy. Accidentally brushing against Jean's knee in the process. Armin felt his own face heat up when he heard Jean inhale sharply.

 _Was he looking at my butt?_ Armin thought in both amusement and embarrassment. He managed to work his way around Jean and into the bus aisle.

"See you tomorrow, Jean!"

"S-see ya!" Jean responded with a dark blush washed over his nose and cheeks.

 _He was definitely looking at my butt._ Armin confirmed, stepping off of the old yellow bus. As the large vehicle pulled away, he saw Jean grasping the seat for support with one hand and flipping him off through the window with the other.

"Did I just make a new friend?" Armin said to himself. "A rather attractive friend, huh?" He couldn't help but smile while jogging home to grab his work uniform.

***

Armin brushed his hair back with his fingers before handing the man his change. He has been working for about three hours now and his shift ended in thirty minutes. He worked a part time job at the local grocery store.

"Have a good day, sir." Armin nodded politely.

"Yeah, thanks." The stranger grumbled. He watched sadly as the man stepped outside, using his cane for support. It reminded him of his grandfather.

"I hope he's okay." Armin mumbled to himself, ripping open a new package of quarters and placing them into the register.

"Why, hello young man!" Armin looked up to see a large, bombastic-looking woman smiling down at him. She had an interesting aura about her that caused Armin's mood to change drastically. He felt a sense of accomplishment when the woman recognized him as a boy, not many people had all day.

"Hello mam' how can I help you today?"

"Oh... I just have a few items for my son, Jean-bo." She stated, setting down a black belt, and two t-shirts.

"Jean? Jean Kirstein?" Armin asked, picking up the items to scan them. The woman nodded enthusiastically.

"That's my Jean-bo alright. Do you go to school with him? We just moved here recently!"

"Yes, I know him." He replied placing her items in a plastic bag. "I'm in his grade."

"Jean-bo mentioned someone he met today. Actually, he could have been talking about you!"

"Oh, really?" Armin questioned, ringing up her final price and typing away on the cash register. Despite his age, the store hired him due to his excellent multitasking and math skills.

"Yeah! He said he talked to a boy today. With... I think Jean said he had cute blonde hair. And he was short, and kind, and smart, and, well... He just kept going on, and on!"

Armin felt a blush rise to his cheeks when the woman dug into her purse to pull out her wallet. He looked down at his name-tag and an odd thought came to mind. He covered it up with his right palm before asking his question.

"I see... and what was the boy's name?"

"Armin Arlert, I believe." She said placing down a twenty dollar bill. "You can keep the change." The woman began to walk away and Armin exhaled shakily.

Jean thought his hair was... cute?

"Oh, I almost forgot!" The woman rushed. "Please try to be friends with Jean-bo. He's a trouble-maker sometimes, but I promise he's a good boy. He's just had a hard time at his old school is all."

"Will do, mam! Have a good day." Armin waved goodbye, watching nervously as the woman left the store. He ran his fingers through his blonde locks and chuckled. "I guess I can be friends with Jean, after all...according to him, I seem _kind_." 


	3. A Helping Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in Jean POV, revealing his thoughts about Armin and the possibility of a fist-fight in the lunchroom.

Chapter Three

(A helping hand)

Pov: **Jean**

"Ugh!" Jean heard someone groan from across the art room. He looked up to see Armin with a dissatisfied expression on his face. Jean couldn't help but admire how Armin's nose crinkled up when he was frustrated or how... adorable he looked with his bangs pushed back behind his ears. Of course Jean would never admit that aloud. Instead, he stood up and walked over to him. _Now's my chance to impress him, don't screw this up Jean!_ He encouraged himself, walking behind the angered boy. He arrived just as Armin crushed his paper for the sixth time and threw it into the pile of crumpled sketches.

"What's wrong?" Jean asked. Armin jumped slightly and spun around meeting the taller boy's gaze. And Jean couldn't help but smile when he saw those intense blue eyes. He's only been at Trost high school for two short days, but he already had a major crush on the school's girliest guy... however this guy was so much more than that. He was smart, and rational, and absolutely-

"I...Um, I'm sorry if I distracted you from your work." Armin whispered sheepishly.

"Don't sweat it." Jean chuckled, pulling a stool up beside him. "What were you groaning about?"

"This assignment, I'm a day behind everyone else, I just-I don't know..." Armin sighed. Jean nodded understandingly and glanced over at the pile of crushed papers. He grabbed one and began to smooth it out. "H-hey! Don't look at that! It's embarrassing, and not very good..." Armin begged, reaching for the paper.

"I have to know what you need help with, Armin." Jean smiled, as the boy's name rolled off his tongue. He would repeat it all day if he could... _Armin_... It was such a nice name.

Jean pulled himself out of his daydreams and began inspecting the sketch. It was the moon, peeking over an empty lake, surrounded by numerous cherry blossoms. "Well I don't see anything wrong with it." Jean thought aloud.

"I just feel like it's missing something, you know?" Armin sighed, loosely sketching out the rising moon and lake once more. Jean watched curiously when Armin took his time to add detail into the cherry blossoms, shading each tiny petal.

"I think I know what you should add." Jean smiled an idea coming to his mind.

"Really, What?" Armin asked, looking away from his paper.

"Well... First off, finish adding the details to everything and then I'll tell you." Armin nodded in response and started shading the moon's low-points and craters. Jean smirked, watching the blonde-haired boy with admiration. Armin stuck his tongue out slightly and squinted his bright blue eyes adding the tiniest of details possible.

"Not to be rude." Armin spoke, still focusing on the assignment. "But shouldn't you be doing yours?" Jean shrugged in response.

"I turned in one of my old watercolors I did awhile back; from my old school."

"Isn't that kind of like...Cheating?"

"Not necessarily, it is my own work after all." He replied. Armin nodded in agreement before sliding his paper over to Jean.

"Okay, I finished. What is it missing?"

"Here I'll show you." Jean said, taking Armin's pencil from his hand.

"Wait! You can't do my assignment for me!" Armin whispered glancing back at the art teacher, who was currently doodling on the chalkboard.

"Shh... Just don't tell anyone." Jean began lightly drawing the outline of petals swirling above the lake, being carried away from the trees and soaring through the wind. One pedal floated gently across the water, causing ripples to erupt from the silent lake. He was completely oblivious to Armin's deathly fear of being caught.

"There you go." Jean smiled, handing the paper back to Armin. "It just needed an extra detail."

"Whoa..." Armin murmured, holding the drawing up towards the light. Jean felt his face heat up in embarrassment. The blonde boy reached his hand forward tracing the little petals in amazement. "Jean this is beautiful. I didn't know you were so artistic!"

"Hey, You don't have to act so surprised." Jean mumbled.

"This is awesome." Armin continued, still in awe over Jean's small addition to his work. Nonetheless, it still made the bland piece of art stand out. Jean looked across the room while the boy next to him rambled on about the sketch. Annie was glaring in Armin's direction with clenched fists and a narrowed eyes.

 _What's her problem?_ Jean thought.

"Hey, Jean. Are you listening?" Armin pouted.

"What?" Jean said focusing on the blue-eyed boy once more. He inhaled sharply, taking note of how cute the boy looked with his lips puckered out like that.

"I said I met your mother yesterday..."

Jean's eyes grew wide and he felt his face flush deep red. Knowing his mother, she probably said something that she shouldn't have. Jean groaned loudly, covering his face with both hands. And now Armin probably knew his embarrassing nickname.

"Don't believe anything the witch told you!" Jean grumbled, his voice muffled by his palms.

"Oh? So you didn't say I had cute hair?" Armin asked in a completely innocent tone. Jean's posture became stiff and rigid. _My Mother didn't tell him that, did she? She better not have!_ He thought.

"I-I...Well you see... I-" The bell rang loudly, signaling the end of first hour. Armin chuckled lightly, standing up and pushing his stool under the table.

"See you later, Jean-bo!" Armin called, leaving the classroom. All Jean could do was sit on his stool with wide eyes, silently cursing his mother.

***

"Cool it, Jaeger!" Jean warned. "For the last time, Mikasa is pretty and all, but i'm not into her like that!"

"Bullshit!" Eren yelled back. "Don't talk to her. Don't look at her. And don't even think about her!"

"Eren calm down. The teacher might hear you. Also," Mikasa spoke, grabbing the enraged teen and sitting him down. "I can handle my own problems."

Math class had only started five minutes prior and the two of them were already engrossed in another argument. For some reason, Eren was completely convinced Jean liked Mikasa.

"Besides..." Jean smirked. "I have my eyes set on someone else at the moment."

"Oh really?" Eren scoffed. "I doubt she likes you back." Mikasa nudged him slightly warning Eren to cool his attitude, but kept silent.

"Actually, it's a _he..._ " Jean mumbled to himself, solving the next math equation.

"Jean, you're... gay?" Mikasa asked, leaning forward, a sly smile tugging at her lips. "How, cute!"

Jean blushed and looked away quickly, "Shh! Someone might hear you." His eyebrows furrowed together and he crossed his arms in defiance. "Plus, I'm Bisexual, it's _completely_ different. But, don't tell anyone! Especially the other football players, the season will start soon and I can't be known as a wimp."

"Jean don't be stupid." Eren scoffed. "Riener is the biggest jock there is, and he's gay as hell."

"Just keep your mouth shut!" Jean threatened, narrowing his eyes in anger.

"Yeah...Yeah," Eren grumbled returning to his own algebra homework.

"Wait, you never told us who it was that you liked." Mikasa prodded further. Unable to drop the subject of Jean's crush.

"And I don't plan on it." He replied, Attempting to figure out the answer for the fifth math problem. _Now... if X=23, Y has to equ-_

"At least tell me what he's like." Mikasa begged. She was obsessed with the idea of love, and romance, and secretly wished she could experience it herself. The only reason she's never actually been in a relationship before is because of the single fact that she was intimating, especially to the other boys. So for the time being, she fed off of gossip, like every other teenage girl her age. Eren glared in Jean's direction, challenging him to tell Mikasa no. Jean shrugged calmly, setting down his pencil.

"He's cute." He simply said.

"I guess it's not me then. I'm sexy, _not_ cute." Eren smirked placing his calculator back into his bag. Mikasa smacked him upside the head before shushing him.

"Ow, what the heck, Mikasa!" Eren grumbled rubbing his forehead.

"And?" She urged, completely ignoring the grumbling boy.

"Hmm.." Jean though for a moment. "...Small, oddly unique, opinionated, and very inte-"

"It's Armin!" Mikasa shouted victoriously before the word intelligent slipped through Jean's lips. She stood up with ear-to-ear smile split across her face. She only knew this because that's how everyone described Armin, as the smart kid...or intelligent.

"No!" Jean replied, his face red hot. "It's not..."

"It better not be." Eren whispered, a completely deadly expression on his face. "I won't hesitate to beat you down. Stay away from him."

"Well...It's not him." Jean lied. Unable to handle another fight with the suicidal freak. Mikasa frowned in disappointment, she was positive he was talking about Armin.

"Oh. That's too bad, you two would have made a cute couple." Mikasa cooed. Eren stared at her in disgust.

"You can't be serious Mikasa! That's disgusting! Armin would never go out with this horse-face!" Eren yelled, standing from his seat. "Ugh! Just the thought of them being anywhere near each other is enough to make me barf!"

"Mr. Yeager!" The teacher's nasally voice filled the room. "Take a seat, and quite down!"

Reluctantly Eren sat down, mumbling a string of profanities, while Mikasa giggled beside him. Jean however, was busy trying to hide his embarrassment.

 _I wonder... Does Armin even like me like that?_ He thought.

***

Jean sat down at an empty lunch table, eating a sandwich he brought from home. He sat near a few other students, but he never spoke to them. Instead he decided to see what Armin was up to. The blonde boy was sitting with his two close friends, Eren and Mikasa, smiling brightly and chattering away about who-knows-what. Jean couldn't help but envy Eren, the two boys have been around each other so often.

"Jacob, don't you think it's weird." A girl said, who was seated a few spaces down from Jean himself.

"What is?" The boy named Jacob, replied. Jean couldn't help but overhear their conversation. He set his half-eaten sandwich down and pretended to be looking elsewhere.

"That Armin kid, he's a guy right? I mean, look how and girlish he looks, very wimpy if you ask me. It's actually a bit unsettling"

"Oh?" The boy questioned, turning around to glance at Armin. "He must be gay."

The girl burst into laughter and Jacob followed suit. Jean felt a hint of rage seep into him. Slowly he began to clench his fists and count to ten. Mentally begging them to keep their mouths shut.

"Yeah..." The boy smiled, obviously impressed that he could make the girl laugh. "Definitely a faggot."

"So what?!" Jean finally blurted out, slamming his fist into the table. He was unable to sit down and listen to them any longer. "So what if he is gay!? What's so bad about that, huh?"

"It's wie-" The girl started, only for Jean to cut her off with a shake of his head.

"No, no, no. You are making fun of him because he _looks_ different right?" Jean chuckled sarcastically. "You know, just because someone isn't exactly like you, it doesn't make them any less of a person! Did you even _try_ to get to know him before spreading those rumors?"

"Dude chill out! Why do you care anyway?!" Jacob stood up, becoming defensive, like most boys his age would. And being the competitive person he was, Jean stood as well, towering over the young man by almost a foot.

"You think you're hot shit don't you?!" Jean spat. "But in reality, I hear people saying the same things about you that you're saying about him!"

" _Please_ ," The boy smirked. "You're only saying this because you think that coconut-haired, nerdy shit, is cute. Don't you? Little faggot..."

Jean wrapped his fist into Jacob's shirt, and lifted him up with ease. The boy watched in terror as Jean's eyes narrowed causing them to darken. A small crowd had already gathered around the two boys chanting and urging them to fight.

"I could kick your ass right now, in front of everyone." Jean whispered darkly, lifting the boy to his eye-level. The boy kicked and squirmed, attempting to free himself from Jean's grasp.

"Stop it! Let go!" The boy begged. Jean only smiled and raised his fist ready to strike.

"What's going on here?" A voice rose through the chanting crowd, catching Jean's attention. Jean looked over to see Armin looking back and forth between the two of them. His grip on Jacob's t-shirt loosened.

"Please, let him go." Armin begged.

"The little shit deserves it! Maybe he should watch his mouth around me." Jean leaned closer to the frightened boy's face and growled. Armin's eyes closed momentarily, as if he was constructing a plan inside his head.

"I'm sure he didn't mean it, right Jacob?"

Jean turned his attention towards the boy he was holding. Jacob trembled and continued to struggle against Jean's vice-grip.

"Yeah! I didn't mean it, s-sorry!"

Jean just sneered, throwing the boy to the floor. The crowd around them groaned and booed. One by one each bystander left and the bell rang, leaving only Armin, Jean, and Jacob in the cafeteria.

"Stay away from him, you hear me? Because next time, I'll bash your skull in." Jean warned the black-haired boy.

Jacob nodded quickly before standing up and running, or more like sprinting, to his next class. Jean turned around, making brief eye contact with Armin and smiled.

"Thanks." Jean said beginning to walk to his next class. Armin rushed to keep up with his long strides. Once they were side by side, the small blonde exhaled shakily.

"For what?"

"For stopping that fight. That would be the second one in three days, and the principal would probably expel me in a heartbeat!" Jean chuckled and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Well, I couldn't let a good friend get himself in trouble, could I? And besides fighting is never the best option." The blonde continued, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear. "It's kind of illogical if you ask me."

"That would be true in that scenario." Jean nodded. "But sometimes, it's the only option."


	4. The Past Will Resurface

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean's POV again. Jean + Armin get closer, there is a misunderstanding, and some of Jean's past is revealed... kinda. Enjoy!

Chapter Four  


(The past Will Resurface)

Pov: **Jean**

Jean sat with Armin on the bus ride home. Each of them stealing a glance from each other every now and then. Jean watched Armin out of the corner of his eye, pull out an old flip phone to text someone under a contact named: Grandpa.

"You have a phone?" Jean asked. Armin smiled a bit and rolled his eyes.

"Obviously." He replied holding up the small device.

"Well, give me your number." Jean said bluntly and Armin chuckled causing his blue eyes to light up brightly. It took Jean a minute or two to process what he had just blurted out. "I didn't mean it like that! I thought you wanted to talk sometime after school. Not that you have to, I mean-"

"Jean, just..Stop talking." Armin laughed and took out an ink pen. He grabbed Jean's hand and wrote his phone number down, just below his wrist. Jean couldn't help but notice how soft the boy's fingertips were and blushed when Armin gently released his hand. The blonde-haired boy sighed deeply before putting his pen away.

"Jean, about that fight in the cafeteria..." Armin whispered, pulling at the hem of his shirt nervously.

"What?"

"I wanted you to know that Jacob has picked on me before..." A hard glare took over Jean's face. Not towards Armin, but towards the jerk named Jacob. Armin continued his confession in a hushed, yet audible tone, "On the first day of school, he pushed me down and into your seat, calling me a _stupid freshman_. That's why I sat with you... uhm... sorry, I just felt bad for keeping that a secret." He said quietly, and Jean frowned.

"So, this was the second time he's done this to you, and yet you still stuck up for him?"

"I-" Armin started, but the Jean cut him off by ruffling his blonde hair playfully.

"Hey, don't sweat it man. You're too kind for your own good. But, if that asshole ever, and I mean _ever_ , touches you again, tell me." Jean took note of how fluffy the boy's hair was before retracting his hand awkwardly.

"No, I can protect my-" The bus lurched forward cutting off Armin's protest. The two of them smiled fondly at each other and burst into laughter.

"We really need a better bus driver, huh?" Jean whispered. The blue-eyed boy nodded in agreement while slowly leaning forward. Jean felt a nervous rush travel through him when an odd thought entered his mind.

 _Is he... Going to kiss me?_ He thought.

Jean closed his eyes and leaned forward. His hands became clammy while the seconds passed by. However, the kiss never came. Slowly, he opened his eyes once more to see Armin exiting the bus.

"Oh..." Jean whispered, his face growing an embarrassing shade of red. "He was just leaving." He hoped Armin didn't notice him do that.

Jean straightened his spine and sat upright while covering his cheeks. While glancing out the window, he saw Armin looking up at him. Jean smiled and waved goodbye as the bus pulled away once more. A final thought entered his mind before the blonde boy was out of sight.

_Armin would never kiss me... How could I be so stupid?_

***

Jean sat in his home alone for another night. His legs were crossed and his hands remained in his lap. The phone number Armin had written in black ink remained on his wrist, and he contemplated calling him.

"He might be busy...Besides what would I say?" Jean asked himself, standing from the couch. He entered the kitchen and sat at the dining table with a groan. "Hi, It's Jean. I only called because I have a secret, yet major crush on you. No biggie."

His home life was very boring, especially since his mother worked night shifts. No one was in the house, besides himself, between the hours of five to eleven. Jean couldn't wait until football season started. He wouldn't be alone so often, and all this pent up anger could be of use on the field.

The microwave clock read the time: 5:32. Having nothing else to do, he pulled out the algebra homework that was supposed to be turned in yesterday and sighed.

"Ms. Rico is horrible at explaining this stuff. It doesn't make any since." Jean grumbled gesturing to his unfinished assignment. An involuntary sigh fell from his lips. "I wish I could be more like Armin. I bet he knows how to do this."

A sudden thought came to mind when Jean caught sight of his phone lying atop the kitchen counter. _Yeah_ , he thought. _Armin would know how to do this._

He has found an excuse to call the boy he has been admiring. With one last thought of victory, Jean grabbed his phone, quickly dialing Armin's number.

The phone rang twice before the line clicked and a timid voice whispered into the speaker.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Armin." Jean replied, resting his cheek on his hand. Jean couldn't help but smile when hearing the boy's voice. It was soft and not very masculine, but soothing nonetheless.

"Oh Jean! ... Do you... need anything?"

"O-oh, right." Jean sputtered, slightly embarrassed that he was spacing off. "I wanted to know if you could help me with the Algebra homework; the one that was due yesterday?" He could hear Armin sigh deeply into the speaker, before speaking.

"Sorry Jean, but I'm at work right now."

"But, you're only fifteen! Just take a break."

"Firstly," Armin retorted, "I will be turning sixteen in a few months. Secondly, I can't just take a break whenever I please! It's a job."

"Please, I just need help with a few problems." Jean begged, he was becoming desperate now. A long silence from Armin's side made Jean become more and more doubtful that the boy would say yes.

"Fine..." Armin huffed. "What do you need help with?" Jean let out a relieved breath before picking up his pencil.

"Everything."

***

"Did you get all that, Jean?" Armin said once more.

"I still don't understand why you don't teach the class instead." He replied, with a chuckle. "The way you explain this makes much more sense." Jean finished his assignment by doodling a smiley face next to his name. 

"Nah, you're a much better leader than me, Jean."

"You think so?" Jean smiled. A long pause passed between them before he spoke again. "Man, Ms. Rico will be amazed I actually finished it."

"I'm sure she will, but I have to go, a customer is coming."

"Oh, okay. Goodbye then." Jean said, regretfully.

"Goodbye." Armin whispered.

Then, the line clicked, ending their... awkward... conversation. Jean groaned loudly as he flopped onto his couch. He wanted to continue speaking to the boy, why is he working at such a young age anyway? 

He unlocked his phone, smiling fondly at the background photo. The picture was taken about a year ago, when Jean was in the eighth grade...

The picture was of him and a boy he used to go to school with. His name was Marco. Jean and the slightly taller boy stood side by side, with Marco's arm draped over his shoulder. Each of them were grinning brightly at the camera. And somehow, Marco's smile made the freckles on his nose and cheeks, stand out. Jean had memorized each one, and the exact location of the small dimples that appeared when he smiled.

Marco was Jean's best friend, his inspiration, and the reason he is the way he is now. Believe it or not, Jean used to be just another hormonal teenager with a short-temper. Marco changed that, he could make the good side of Jean's personality shine through, even in the darkest situations. And for the longest time Marco was his only friend at all. However, Marco Bott, is also the reason Jean transferred schools...

Jean felt the all too familiar tightening in his chest, while forcing himself to look away from the picture. The back of his eyes started to sting and soon enough he was blinking rapidly to suppress his watery vision. Jean refused to cry, not again, it's too soon. However, he couldn't help but feel disgusted with himself for being happy. Armin; Armin made him happy, or at least happier. He didn't deserve happiness after what he did.

"Fuck..." Jean mumbled, rubbing his eyes with clenched fists. "I'm a monster."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: In the school, (in this story) there are many 16 year old's in their Freshman year. This is because this school system is a bit different than most. So all of the Freshman will be 15-16, just for the sake of plot. ~Just trying to clear up any confusion.


	5. It's Nothing I'm Not Used To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Things start to get spicy in this chapter, enjoy the drama ahah.) Armin's POV again, Jean's ignoring him, and he runs into trouble after school.

Chapter Five

(It's Nothing I'm Not Used To.)

Pov: **Armin**

It was Friday when Armin arrived for his first class a few minutes early, per usual. He took his seat and set his bag down sighing sadly. Lately something has been off about Jean. He's become more distant, and sometimes even walked away from him. Armin couldn't help but wonder what he did wrong to cause Jean to deliberately avoid him. To make matters worse, this is the second day of school Eren has missed due to a minor cold. Eren tends to over-exaggerate situations, and Mikasa tends to be over-protective towards him. Therefore, she has been staying home as well to care for Eren in his time of "distress." Meaning, Armin was going to be alone, again; it won't be long before someone takes that to their advantage and picks on him while he has no protection.

Armin wasn't strong, he knew this. Which is why, if it came down to it, he couldn't outrun them, let alone fight back. Armin couldn't help but groan at this, wishing he was like Jean. Jean, could protect himself, he could scare the cruel kids away, and he could, at the very least, _look_ intimidating.

"Something wrong, kid?" Mr.McGuire asked looking above his thinly-rimmed glasses. Armin shook his head sadly, taking out his sketchbook.

"No sir, I'm just... worried about a friend is all."

"I see..." The teacher replied questioningly. The bell rang, signaling the start of class and Armin smiled gratefully. For him, class was a distraction from his everyday life.

***

The final bell rang that day with the English teacher waving halfheartedly, "Have a good weekend, get out."

Armin walked towards his locker and down the freshman hall clutching an old book, that was once his fathers, under his right arm. On the way, Jean somehow managed to work his way into Armin's thoughts. They shared multiple awkward glances in the halls and during a few classes today. But, Jean never spoke to him and seemed to deliberately avoid him once again.

 _I'll ask him about it on the bus_. Armin told himself, continuing down the hallway.

Suddenly a sharp jab connected with Armin's ribs. He jumped slightly, clutching his now likely bruised side. He looked up to see a slightly taller blonde with her hair tied back, _Annie_. There were two very tall and very masculine boys behind her.

"Hey Armin, buddy." Annie smiled crookedly, looking down the hall. "Where's Mikasa and... Eren?" Armin swallowed nervously and pulled the book closer to his chest.

_I knew this would happen... I knew it._

"Eren is sick; Mikasa is taking care of him." Armin managed to say without stuttering. Annie nodded knowingly crossing her arms over her chest.

"You and Jean were getting very close, only two days after I warned you to stay away from him, hm?" She tilted her head slightly. Armin's body became stiff as he studied the two boys behind her. One had a dark hair color, and long stature, he had to be at least 6'3; Armin recognized him as Bertolt, the boy who never spoke much to anyone. And the other boy, who was slightly shorter, had a blonde buzz-cut, and was smirking down at him. It was Reiner, the school's star quarterback.

Armin took a step back before replying, "I-"

"Shut up!" Annie growled, pushing Armin backwards, causing him to slam against a nearby locker. He winced as the padlock dug into his spine, skinning a line up his back. Bertolt wasn't paying much attention. But rather, smiling down at Annie with a blush and Armin swore he heard the tall boy mumble to himself, "She's so pretty." However the blonde teen, Reiner, seemed to thoroughly enjoy watching Armin in pain.

"Stop it." Armin said bravely, standing on his feet once more. "What do you want?" Annie stepped, forward wrapping her fist into Armin's shirt.

"What I want, is for you to stay away from Jean!" She pulled the small boy forward, only to forcefully slam him into the locker once more. Armin felt a droplet of blood trail down his back. He winced slightly waiting for the pain to subside. Armin refused to give them the satisfaction of watching him cry, and he refused to humiliate himself due to physical pain.

"Deal with this Reiner." Annie spat, walking away from Armin's cowering frame. He was still holding onto his father's tattered book.

"What? H-hey now, I can't hit a girl!" Reiner objected.

"That's a guy you shit-for-brains!" Annie yelled astonished by his stupidity while stepping beside Bertolt, much to the tall boy's delight.

"Is it?" Reiner chuckled to himself. "I thought I was turning straight for a second there... Because damn, he's pretty fucking cute. Don't you think Bertolt?"

Armin took advantage of the situation and began to carefully back away. Hopefully, his bus hasn't left without him. He quickly and quietly managed to make a decent distance between them.

"You know I'm not gay." Bertolt said, bending down to Annie's height. "R-right, Annie."

"Would you two shut up and get on with it?!" She demanded. Reiner turned to see Armin already halfway down the hall.

"Hey, get back here, you punk!" Reiner bellowed, breaking into a full-on sprint. Armin's eyes-widened, he turned on his heels and began to run, knowing full well he couldn't outrun a football player. Armin only made it a few steps before being tackled into yet another wall, a brick one this time. Causing a sharp pain to shoot up his side. Armin yelped before quickly slamming his mouth shut and gritting his teeth together.

The book fell from Armin's hands landing on the floor with a thump. It caught his attacker's attention. Reiner smirked, holding the boy up with one hand and picking up the book up with his other. He glanced at it questioningly.

"I don't understand people like you." Armin spoke, hoping to deter the boy's attention away from the book.

"Huh?" Reiner growled, pressing Armin further against the wall. "Why don't keep your mouth shut?"

"You fight, and for what? For self-pride, to assert your dominance, or perhaps to impress someone?" Armin's gaze traveled towards Bertolt. "Annie, you are doing this out of jealousy, correct?" Annie's triumphant smile formed into a frown as she realized what Armin was saying. "And, you know that Jean would never go for a psychotic, manipulative, egotistical, girl like you, so you take your anger out on me!"

"Shut this kid up!" Annie commanded while stepping forward. "Punch his fucking face in!"

"No." Reiner replied, sticking out his tongue. "This is amusing."

Armin continued, hoping to buy enough time for someone to find him, "Don't deny it Annie. We all know that you use people to get what you want. You're using Bertolt as we speak. It's fairly obvious he likes you, and the feeling isn't mutual. So you use that to your advantage."

"T-That's not true!" The tall boy objected, his face tinted red.

"You're worst than her, Bertolt." He shifted uncomfortably in Reiner's grasp. "You stand by watching this happen without interfering... But what can I expect from a love sick puppy, following his mistresses every order?"

"God, you're giving me a headache. Can you stop with the holier-than-thou bullshit now?" Reiner groaned in annoyance, opening the brown book. "So what is this, your diary?"

"No." Was Armin's curt response. "Don't touch it."

Bertolt stepped forward and took the book from the Reiner's hand. He laughed darkly, while flipping the book's pages.

"What is this, some kind of nerdy science journal?"

"It was my father's research journal. Please, put it down." Armin begged still attempting to escape Reiner's hold. That book was the only thing he had left to remember his parents by. It held everything his mother and father researched and discovered, along with the detailed explanations of everywhere they traveled. He had even added his own pictures and a few places he traveled to with short descriptions. Armin wanted to continue their legacy.

"Aw, not so confident now, are we?" Bertolt cooed, with an evil grin. "What if I just," The boy grabbed onto one of the frail pages, before slowly, and deliberately ripping it in half. "Opps."

"No! STOP!" Armin screamed, kicking and squirming in Reiner's hold. "Let go!"

The tall boy ripped out one page after another, each time smiling innocently and lifting his gaze to see Armin's reaction. "Stop that!" He would cry, but to no avail. Eventually, Armin stopped struggling and stood there helplessly, attempting to cover his eyes with his blonde bangs, embarrassed that his eyes had started to gloss over. Reiner lifted the boy's chin and smiled down at him in amusement.

"Awe look Bertolt, you made the pretty boy sad." He chuckled sarcastically. Armin snapped his face to the side in disgust, ripping it out of Reiner's grasp.

"Beasts." He spat.

"Hmm? What was that sweetheart?" Reiner chuckled, obviously amused.

"I said you're beasts." Armin repeated, his eyes flickering to life. "Illiterate, ignorant, beasts. You harm those who are weaker and smaller, because you're afraid of being beaten down like the dog you are!"

Armin began to struggle once more by violently thrashing, punching, and scratching at Reiner's arm. He was in a full blown rage. The pent-up anger from enduring so many years of physical abuse and torture from his bullies was finally breaking through. One of his flailing limbs managed to slam into his attacker's gut, causing Reiner to let out a grunt before dropping him. Armin fell to the floor with a loud thump, his chest was heaving, and his face was still red with rage. Slowly, he tugged himself forward, attempting to pick up his broken book and hopefully, escape. Or at the very least by a bit more time..

"He's a feisty one, huh?" Reiner chuckled to his friend, pulling Armin back by his ankle. The small blond choked back snarky remark while scratching and grabbing the floor tiles, attempting to grasp onto anything. "I can fix that." Reiner continued.

Armin let out an "Oof." As the much larger boy sat on him, yanking his hair back. White-hot pained surged through Armin as his hair was tugged away from his scalp. The jock raised his fist ready to slam it into the boy's mottled face.

And as if on cue, Jean's voice sounded from the end of the hall.

"Hey! What's going on here?!" He yelled, causing his voice to echo throughout the empty corridor. The heavy stomps of footsteps sounded against the hard linoleum flooring.

"Guys, the principle is with him!" Bertolt whispered, pulling his hood over his head to mask his face. Reiner followed suit and got off of Armin quickly before racing down the hall. In an instant, all three of them were gone. Leaving Armin broken and battered on the cold tile floor. The blonde boy rested his cheek against the tiles and sighed.

"Get back here!" An older voice hollered, quickly following the three kids down the hall. Armin coughed weakly and attempted to stand, causing a sharp jolt to shoot up his side; he collapsed, hissing in pain and clutching his rib-cage. Still determined, Armin pulled himself up, only to fall to his knees once again. Overcome with frustration, the boy sat down, wrapped his arms around himself, and faced the floor.

Armin felt weak, he felt useless. Like a small animal that needed protection and a savior. Almost as if he was a helpless bystander, watching himself being abused. With a shaky palm he lifted up his book, causing all the torn-out pages to scatter. His heart sunk deep within his chest. Armin frantically reached for each page, hoping the damage that was done could be fixed. As his fingers wrapped around the last torn-up paper Armin inhaled sharply. He wanted to scream, and cry, and hurt them like they hurt him. But, all he could do slam his fist against the floor in anguish and despair.

It was the picture of his parents holding hands, with him in the middle. He was nine years old, and at the time, everyone seemed happy. However, it was torn in half separating his parent's midsection, ruining the photo. Armin dropped the picture in shock, cursing silently and attempting to calm his heaving breaths. He stiffened as a hand laid gently across his shoulder.

"Hey, are you okay? Can you stand?" Came Jean's voice from behind him. Armin shook his head frantically, holding back his tears.

"N-no. I'm not okay!" He replied, shoving the book into his bag so no one could harm it any further. He held onto the ripped picture with both hands, watching as a tear trickled down his cheek and onto his shaky wrists. "They ruined it, my parent's book! Th-They, they-"

Armin broke down into tears, watching everything crumble around him. Nothing mattered at the moment. He didn't care who saw him cry, or sob, or even scream any longer. He felt himself fall deeper and deeper into depression, and soon his body was shaking uncontrollably. The mass amount of tears clouded his vision.

"Armin..." Jean whispered, wrapping his arms around the sobbing teen. Armin struggled against him and attempted to escape his grasp. He didn't want Jean's comfort, or sympathy, and most of all he didn't want his pity. Armin refused to be to saved, he wanted to be strong, he wanted to protect _himself_. Armin rose his fist and pounded it against Jean's chest repeatedly. The larger boy showed no reaction, or sign of pain.

"Get off! Don't touch me," Armin cried, however no more tears escaped his eyes. They had all seemed to vanish. And Jean only held the small blonde tighter in his arms. Armin gave up on fighting him, and instead buried his face into Jean's t-shirt. staining the soft fabric with his tears in the process. "I-I-I can do it! I can be st-strong too! I don't need you, dammit!" He rambled, Jean kept quiet and listened to the boy's protests while nodding.

"Shh..." Jean hushed him. If Armin kept going on like this he wouldn't be able to rest. Slowly, Jean rose to his feet, carrying the exhausted boy in his arms. "We're leaving."

Armin didn't protest, instead he nodded sadly, too tired to refuse.


	6. The Past Has Resurfaced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both of the boys open up. Except one is a bit more vague.

Chapter six

(The Past Has Resurfaced)

Pov: **Armin**

"I can't help you if you don't talk to me." Jean repeated for the umpteenth time. Armin however, remained silent, staring at the blank, white wall.

After the incident the principal, Mr. Smith, ended up catching Annie. But, the other two students were much too fast and youthful for the older man to keep up with. Jean drove Armin to his house and Armin didn't protest, he was too tired to do that. So now they were sitting in Jean's room, on his bed, trying to resolve what had happened.

Armin kept quiet and sat cross-legged, with his fingers intertwined in his lap. All the while Jean watched over him carefully, never breaking eye contact. What Armin really wanted right now was to be left alone, to wallow in his self-loath.

But, he knew Jean wouldn't allow that. So instead they sat in a comfortable silence. Every now and then Jean would ask who the other two attackers were. And every time Armin would answer by clenching and unclenching his jaw.

He didn't want to speak of his past life, the only people who knew about it were Eren, Mikasa, and obviously his grandfather. But Armin also knew that he had to speak. Whether he liked it or not, there was no other way for him to expel all of these horrible thoughts. Nothing was going to get better if he didn't talk about it.

With a shaky exhale Armin began his story, "The accident happened five years ago."

Jean's eyes dilated, obviously surprised that Armin was talking. He decided to stay silent and let him finish speaking... Although Jean was still unsure what the boy was talking about.

 _I can't believe i'm doing this._ Armin told himself. _I should just stop now, he doesn't need to know... He probably doesn't care anyways... But-No... I can do this, I_ _will_ _do this._

"We were going on a family vacation, all the way to Florida. I was going to see the ocean for the first time. Although, my mother and father had seen it many times before, they insisted that I needed to have this experience." Jean had scooted closer to Armin by this point, urging him to continue. "We were driving in bad weather. The fog was so dense we couldn't see no more than thirty feet in front of us. Not to mention the storm settling in, every now and then the lightning would nearly strike our car." Armin bunched his fist into the bed sheets, mentally preparing himself to continue. "We were crossing over a one-lane bridge when another driver hit us dead-on. Our car had crashed through the railing and flipped over before I even had time to register what was happening."

Jean's posture softened. Suddenly, he realized what story Armin was telling him. The story of his parents' death. Jean didn't wish to hear the ending. "Armin, you don't-"

"I looked up, and all I remember seeing is red." The blonde boy began to tremble. His fists remained tangled within the sheets, gripping them with such force his knuckles turned white. "So. Much. Red. Oh, god..." He muttered. "There was blood everywhere. I couldn't, I d-didn't-" Armin looked down to see Jean picking up his shaky hands, and holding them still. Somehow, the small gesture calmed him, and the trembling slowly faded away. With slight hesitation Armin pulled his hands away.

"M-My father died on impact. But, my mom... The doctors said her knee-caps were shattered, each rib snapped, and she was bleeding internally." Armin exhaled a long, uneven breath. "I could hear her screaming and c-crying. Begging my dad to, 'Just. Wake. Up.' And then, I looked down at myself." Armin paused to touch his stomach tenderly. He could remember the events vividly, terrifyingly so. "I had a shard of glass sticking through my abdomen....My shirt was soaked in blood. I was the only one to survive." Armin began to dig his nails into his stomach, cursing the wretched scar it left behind.

"I had nightmares for years after that, and panic attacks every time it began to storm, of course I'm a lot better now... uhm, and yeah... Because I only had one living relative, my grandfather took custody over me." Armin raised his face and made eye-contact with the boy across from him. "J-Jean, I miss my parents." His voice began to crack as if he were about to cry. "Sometimes I wish I just would have just died with them."

"Hey, Hey, don't say that..." Jean pulled the boy into an embrace, quickly wrapping his arms around Armin's small frame. Armin stiffened at his sudden actions, but slowly began to hug him back. The two boys sat like that, comforted by each others warmth, and Armin continued to speak.

"That's why," He whispered. "That's why I have to see the ocean, for my parents." Armin pulled away sadly, scooting towards the head of the bed. Slowly, he lifted his shirt above his head, folding it neatly beside him. Armin has never shown anyone these things before, not even his best friend, Eren. But he figured now was the time, and he could trust Jean. _Ha,_ Armin thought. _Who knew someone like me could trust a boy they just met?_ With an emptiness in his eyes, Armin pointed to a large scar on his left abdomen.

Jean felt his heart stop suddenly, "What are you...?"

"This," Armin started. "Is from the glass shard." He then raised his hand and circled his finger around three more scars resting upon his rib-cage. "And these are from the force of the impact, I had to get some stitches." Armin turned around slightly, tracing his finger down a thin white line that was trailing down his hip and hidden under his pant's hem. "I received this on impact also, from the seatbelt cutting into my skin. It felt... Somewhat like a burn... " The boy paused, and gestured to his body. "These scars, I'm trusting you, to _never_ tell anyone about them. I _hate_ them, they don't need to be known by the whole world, Jean. Not even Eren..."

Jean nodded sadly, unsure of how to comfort the boy. Was he really the only person to see these scars? Jean felt himself growing closer and closer to the boy by the day. And not necessarily in a good way.

Slowly, he reached his hand up to touch Armin's cluster of scars. Without warning, a loud smack echoed through the room.

Jean held his cheek in shock and looked up to see Armin clutching his hand to his bare chest. _Did he just... Smack me?_ Jean thought, still cupping his face.

"I'm sorry." Armin whispered, quickly putting his shirt back on. His cheeks flushed light pink, before he looked away to hide his face.

"No, I-it's okay. I'm stupid... shouldn't have done that.." Jean reassured, rubbing his now stinging cheek. "I'm fine."

"I should go..." The blonde boy stood, "My grandfather is probably worried." He began to pace frantically around the room, looking for his phone and jacket. Only to be pulled to a stop, by Jean grabbing his arm.

"No," Jean stated, without hesitation. "It's really late out and you might as well stay here tonight."

Armin thought for a moment, contemplating his decision. For some odd reason he trusted Jean, and whether he liked it or not, Jean made him feel a little bit better about this situation. Slowly, he sat down once more with a small nod, causing the other to smile brightly.

***

A loud slam caused Armin to jump and snap his head towards Jean's direction. He quickly repressed his phone to his ear.

"Grandpa, I have to go," He whispered before flipping his phone shut. "Are you serous, Jean?"

Jean was holding a large guitar case, with a stupid smile that stretched from ear-to-ear. Armin couldn't help but think, _there's no way he knows how to use that._ Jean sat down across from Armin at the kitchen island, opening up the black case.

Jean chuckled, pulling out a light brown guitar from the inside. "Aren't I always?"

"No." The small blonde deadpanned.

"Well I am right now. So just shut up, and let me show you something." Jean grumbled, setting the guitar in his lap. He strummed his guitar pick through a few chords, causing a loud screech to echo throughout the quiet home. Armin flung his hands over his ears and winced at the horrible noise.

"I meant to do that." Jean reassured, turning a tuning peg slightly. After a few warm up tests, he winked in Armin's direction.

Armin felt his cheeks heat up, and smiled shyly. Even if Jean turned out to be really bad, he would still pretend to like it. No one has ever gone through such lengths to cheer him up before. It made his stomach flip with excitement and he leaned forward impatiently.

"Come on Mr. Musician. Sing me a song." Armin smirked. Jean nodded and gulped nervously. He lifted his guitar pick and strummed a deep and steady tune. Much better than the previous attempt.

"Remember," Jean said still concentrated on the music he was playing, "I'm a terrible singer, but I'll try, okay?" Armin nodded, completely fascinated with Jean's skill.

The more Armin thought about it the more he realized Jean is a truly amazing individual. He was strong, artistic, a natural born leader, and apparently musically talented. Of course Jean has his faults, but everyone does. Therefore, Armin concluded, Jean is just doubting himself and in reality he must be a brilliant singer.

"This is called Demons, by Imagine Dragons. Maybe you know it?" A soft, rhythmical melody filled the room's interior and Jean began to subconsciously tap his foot along with the music. Armin smiled brightly, he recognized the song immediately, it was one of his favorites.

By this point, Armin had forgotten all about his ruined book. He repressed all of those torturous memories. He pushed back every hateful thought and fully devoted himself into the music. He didn't want to be hurt anymore, for once in his life, Armin wanted to be happy.

"...When the days are cold. And the cards all fold. And the saints we see are all made of gold~" Jean sang smoothly.

Armin felt his mouth become slightly agape and he inhaled sharply. As expected, Jean was an excellent singer. His voice wasn't extraordinary, but it was soothing and helped Armin forget about the outside world completely. Although, he couldn't help but wonder why Jean chose this song. There had to be a reason behind it.

Armin began to close his eyes while quietly humming the music. He began to listen to Jean's voice more carefully, from each lyric he was singing to the emotions he was portraying.

"They say it's what you make. I say it's up to fate. It's woven in my soul... I need to let you go..."

 _What do the lyrics of this song mean to Jean? The reason must be important enough for him to learn how to sing and play this piece of music. Not only that, but play it for someone else. Is he he trying to tell me something? And why did he hesitate with that last line?_ Armin thought to himself. _Maybe I'm just over-analyzing the situation, and perhaps it doesn't mean anything at all..._  But he couldn't help his curiosity. There _had_ to be a deeper meaning.

"Your eyes, they'ed shine so bright. I wanna save that light. But, I can't escape this now, unless you show me how~"

 _He changed the words!_ Armin quickly concluded. _The original song said "they shine so bright." not "they'ed." Meaning, he purposely made the lyrics past tense. Who is he singing about, I wonder? And what happened to him or her?_

"It's where my demons hide..." Jean finished in a whisper, strumming the last note softly. Armin smiled, and began to clap. Causing Jean's face to become beet red as he put the brown guitar away.

"That was amazing!" Armin complemented, deciding not to discuss the thoughts in his head.

***

"You know, I probably will get lectured for not going to work today. I just hope they don't fire me." Armin groaned flopping onto Jean's bed. Jean began to lay blankets out on the floor while Armin took his shoes off. "Are you _sure_ it's okay if I sleep here?" Armin asked, gesturing to the bed.

"Of course," Jean replied. "Just don't piss yourself." Armin laughed softly, and threw the blankets over himself.

"Same goes for you." Armin added, as Jean switched off the lights. They sat in a distilling silence. 

Armin kept his eyes wide open in the dark room, and began to listen more intently to the noises around him. Jean's steady breaths mixed with his own, filled the dark room. From the outside, he could hear the wind whistle, along with the quiet yet steady chirps of the nocturnal crickets. Armin's brain worked in overdrive during the night, and sometimes he would lie in bed for hours, just thinking about any random thing that happened within the day. And at this moment he was thinking about how Jean had ignored him all week...

"Hey... Jean?" Armin whispered, resting his hands under his head. He heard the familiar sound of rustling sheets coming from the floor.

"Yeah?" The boy spoke just as quietly.

"I've been wondering... Why have you been so distant lately?"

"Huh?" Jean questioned obviously caught off guard by Armin's accusation.

"All week, you have deliberately avoided me. Did I...Did I do something wrong?"

"No. No you didn't do anything." Jean answered quickly. "It's just... Some people don't deserve the happiness that others offer, is all."

With that, Jean turned onto his side and closed his eyes. Armin didn't question him further. Instead, he stared up at the ceiling, analyzing Jean's response.

 _What does_ _that_ _mean?_ Armin thought to himself. " _Some people don't deserve the happiness that others offer?" I don't understand. Is Jean saying he doesn't deserve to be happy? What could have caused him to think such things? Jeez, This guy is so complicated..._

As Armin closed his eyes, he heard Jean faintly mumble something incoherent. However he managed to make out a few words.

"Goodnight... Marco..." Was what Jean had said. _Did he just call me Marco?_ Armin wondered.

Eventually, Armin managed to fall asleep, completely confused and utterly exhausted by the whole ordeal. 


	7. The Blunt and The Oblivious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin and Jean run into an awkward situation at the Ice-cream shop.

Chapter Seven

(The Blunt and the Oblivious)

Pov: **Jean**

Jean woke up that morning to an empty room. He rubbed his eyes with a balled up fist and groaned, he was definitely _not_ a morning person. He managed to throw the blankets off of himself and stand from the makeshift bed on the floor, stretching his legs in the process. Jean looked over at his bed and noticed Armin was not in it.

"Where is he?" Jean grumbled to himself. He wondered if the boy had already gone home. Jean perked up when his mother's distinctive laugh sounded from the kitchen. He flung his door open and ran towards the noise, hoping his mother hadn't met Armin yet. She would surely scare the poor boy off in an instant.

"Yes, that's true." He heard Armin say, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Jean entered the dining room to see his mother and Armin sitting across from each other. He sighed in relief and joined them at the kitchen table. His mother set an omelet in front of him on a small white plate. Jean looked over to see Armin has already started eating breakfast.

"I see you've already met my mother." Jean forced a smile, and Armin nodded. Jean began to cut apart his mother's stuffed omelette, and bit into it. He had to admit, his mother was an amazing cook, and this was his favorite dish of hers. She wasn't quite so bad if you could look past her overly-cheery attitude.

"You didn't tell me you were having a guest stay over Jean-bo! Is he your boyfriend?" His mother beamed, resting her chin on her hand.

"Mom!" Jean sputtered, choking on a spoonful of his stuffed egg. He broke into an embarrassing fit of coughs, and noticed Armin was cupping a hand over his mouth. "N-No! Just stop talking!"

"Awh, don't be so embarrassed Jean-bo... Please excuse him Armin, he gets a bit testy in the mornings." The woman leaned forward and whispered. "A bit sensitive if you ask me."

"That's it, I'm leaving." Jean stood from the table and picked up his half eaten omelette. He rushed to the microwave and placed it inside for later.

"No, Jean-bo, please stay a bit longer." His mother sighed. "I was just joking."

"Sorry, but no." Jean threw his now empty plate into the sink along with Armin's, before grabbing the boy's arm and pulling him to his feet.

"Where are we going?" Armin looked up at Jean from under his eyelashes. Jean could feel breath be swept away from him and he swore his heart skipped a beat when he looked into those bright blue eyes. For a short moment, he forgot how to speak.

Jean looked away with an awkward cough, "Away from here."

"Oh." Was all Armin whispered in response. Jean exited his home with the small blonde, before his mother could say anything any more embarrassing.

***

"Vanilla or chocolate?" Jean asked, parking his car infront of the local ice cream shop. It was set perfectly in the middle of town, and due to the hot weather it was the best time to go to this place. A sign hung over the store displaying in dark, bold letters: "Kone Korner." ...Which made sense, because the shop sat on the corner of the crosswalk between and empty stretch of land and across from that sat a rather large bank that seemed to be out of business. However the ice cream shop was small, so they had wooden seats and tables, that were painted white, set up outside. Which gave a wonderful view of the pond that stretched across the empty piece of land next door.

"Vanilla." Armin finally answered unbuckling his seatbelt and stepping out of the car. Jean followed suit and asked Armin to go pick out a place to sit outside. He watched the blonde boy nod and take off to find a seat.

Jean wasn't sure how to feel about his current situation. Sure, he was glad to be hanging out with someone he thought was pretty cute-uhm, cool. But, the reason the two of them were hanging out was what bothered Jean the most.

_Armin is only tolerating me because of the prior events._ _He must feel like he owes me something._ Jean grabbed two vanilla cups, and paid the required amount before heading outside to meet Armin. _His eyes seem empty lately,_ Jean thought. _But, of course he has every right to be sad... Who wouldn't be after going through what he has gone through?_ Jean stepped outside to see Reiner standing beside a visibly uncomfortable Armin.

"Are you alone?" He heard Reiner say.

Jean walked up to the table Armin had picked out and set down both of their cups. "Nah man, I'm with him." Jean took a seat beside Armin, and smiled lopsidedly at the taller jock. He hoped to be good friends with Reiner, they were going to be on the football team together after all.

"I see..." Reiner almost sounded disappointed. "Mind if I join you?"

Jean nodded, gesturing to an empty seat across from them, he noticed Armin sink lower into his seat. _Why is he acting so panicked?_   He watched as the small blonde slowly picked up his plastic spoon from the corner of his eye.

"You ready for football season?" Jean asked their new guest.

"I always am, man." Reiner smirked. "So, I heard you're signing up. I know you're new here and all... But, don't expect any special treatment."

"I don't. Would be nice to have a cheerleader or two on my side though." Jean chuckled lightly, and Reiner nodded.

"Are you going to be my cheerleader, Armin?" Reiner questioned with smile. "We don't have enough males rooting for us."

"No, I'm not." Armin said snidely. Jean crossed his legs from under the table while looking back and forth between both of their glares.

Jean couldn't help but notice the awkward tension between the two boys, Armin and Reiner. He tried to turn around and ask Armin if anything was wrong, but was interrupted by Reiner chuckling quietly.

"Are you and Jean good friends now, Blondie?" Reiner asked, placing his arm on the table and leaning forward. Jean quirked an eyebrow at the odd nickname, both Reiner and Armin are blonde, so it was a bit ironic.

"I...I guess we are." Armin confirmed, nervously twirling his plastic spoon into the ice cream cup. Jean smiled lightly, he didn't realize until now, but yes, they definitely could be classified as friends. Good friends.

"Mhmm..." Reiner trailed off, eyeing the other blonde up and down. Jean shifted uncomfortably in his seat, knowing full well that Reiner was checking Armin out. Armin however, seemed oblivious to that fact. The situation was very awkward, to say the least. "And, I see you have a bruise on your arm right there." Reiner made sure to point towards the area as well. "What happened?"

Armin quickly covered the bruise with his other hand and looked down with an annoyed expression. "Yes, I _wonder_ , Reiner." Armin replied coldly.

"So, uhm... Nice weather we're having... R-right?" Jean spoke up, trying to ease the painfully awkward tension. Armin only looked away from both of them, glaring out at the busy street. Reiner cracked his knuckles loudly before standing up.

"I should go, see you later, Jean." He smiled, waved halfheartedly, and slowly walked away. "Goodbye, Blondie." He called over his shoulder, and soon after he was gone.

Armin visibly relaxed, shoving a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth. Jean stared wide-eyed at the boy, who just continued nibbling on his ice cream. Jean's stares got the point where Armin looked up at him and narrowed his eyes with an annoyed "What?" look.

"W-what the hell was that about?!" Jean sputtered, and almost instantly wanted to smack a hand over his mouth.

"What?" Armin asked, with the plastic spoon still shoved into his mouth.

"Oh my god, you didn't notice?"

"What happened?"

"It was so awkward!" Jean groaned, covering his face.

"What is it?" Armin asked a bit louder.

Jean threw his hands up in exasperation, "How couldn't you see that? He was being so blatant!" That's when Jean concluded; if Armin didn't notice what just happened, how could he ever realize Jean kind of... sort of... liked him too?

"Just tell me!"

"Reiner was just flirting with you _and_ checking you out!"

"N-no." Armin blushed, taking another bite of his ice cream. "He doesn't like me like that. Plus, I definitely don't like him."

"I'm pretty sure he has the hots for you, dude." Jean chuckled, patting his friend on the back. "Have fun!"

Armin suddenly dropped his spoon, and his eyes widened in realization. Jean watched him in amusement.

"Shoot, you're right!" Armin gasped, as if he suddenly had an epiphany. "How could I not have noticed the signs? O-oh no, this is terrible!"

"Come on, it's not that bad to have the biggest jock in school crushing on you. Besides, it's not your fault you're so... attractive."

"How could I have not noticed him flirting?" Armin continued on, completely unaware of Jean's previous statement. Jean mentally face-palmed himself and shook his head in disbelief. Armin had to be very inexperienced in the flirting department. He couldn't tell the difference between casual talk and full on eye-rape, for god's sake!

"I hate that guy, I hate him." Armin grumbled to himself, tapping his foot incisively. "Ugh... stupid, chauvinist, jerk."

"Whoa man... Calm down, it's just a crush." Jean chuckled nervously, resting his hand on the boy's shoulder. Armin spun around and flung Jean's hand off of him. His teeth were clenched, and his eyebrows furrowed together in an angry scowl.

"I will not calm down!" Armin yelled, causing a few people that were walking by to turn their heads. Jean quickly scooted backwards and held his hands up in defense.

_Damn, Armin is sure is scary when he's pissed off._

"S-Sorry." The blonde sighed, rubbing his temple. "I just... Never mind."

Jean shook his head in dismay, but decided against questioning the boy any further. Armin didn't look like he wanted to elaborate on his previous statement, that much was obvious. So they sat together and finished their ice cream, adding in a few comments every now and then.

***

By the end of the day Jean felt like he had gotten much closer to Armin. For example, Jean just learned that he is a Scorpio, his favorite color is blue, and he loves to point out every one of Jean's grammar mistakes. Jean liked to think Armin had learned a lot about him as well, including the fact that he was kicked out of Daycare as a child. The shocked expression on Armin's face was beyond hilarious when he learned this. Jean wasn't unintelligent, in fact he was far from it, he was just a troublemaker as a kid. And the teachers thought that meant he couldn't handle being around other children.

_Well, I think I've made some progress in our odd friendship._

"So, I'll see you Monday then?" Jean asked, pulling his car into Armin's driveway. Jean's mother had given him an old, gray, Chevy that had paint chipping off of it's every edge. But it drove, that's all he cared about.

"Yeah..." Armin replied, sounding slightly upset. Jean frowned, and put the car in park. _Why does he seem so sad?_

"Is something wrong?"

"N-no." Armin whispered. "I'm just being a burden aren't I..? Sorry, I'll leave." He fumbled with the lock to unbuckle his seatbelt, before pushing the car door open.

"Armin, wait!" Jean called out, but the boy had already ran inside his home. "You're not... Dammit."

Jean cursed at himself and shifted his car into reverse. It was getting pretty dark out, but he still noticed the small object lying on his car's floor. It was a small brown book. While attempting to keep his eyes on the road, Jean reached over and picked up the odd object.

He opened the cover, and a few torn pages fell out, along with a ripped up picture. It was a picture of Armin, and two adults who looked to be his parents. They were smiling fondly at the camera and holding hands. He flipped the photograph over and read the words scrawled across the back.

_**R.I.P Mom and Dad. The ocean awaits you.** _

Jean felt his heart sink deep within his chest. Slowly he closed the book once more, and set it in the passenger seat.

_That's why Armin was upset. Because some assholes ripped his book apart. If I ever see them, I'll kill them._

Jean felt himself fall deeper into a pitiful sadness as a depressing thought entered his mind. Has Armin been bullied before?

This surely can't be the first time. How many times has he been hurt like that before? Who would be the one to split up the fight if it wasn't Jean himself? Eren? Mikasa? No one? How many times has Armin been beaten down without someone to help him? Did he ever fight them back? Why didn't he tell anyone?!

Jean quickly swerved his car back into his lane. He had been so caught up in his thoughts that he forgot to watch the road. His fingers wrapped around the wheel in a tight death-grip.

_I will protect you Armin, from here on out, I promise, this will_ _**never** _ _happen again._


	8. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of Jeans past in revealed~

Chapter Eight

(Memories)

Pov: **Jean**

"Alright, class I'm handing back your watercolor pieces now." Mr. McGuire grumbled. The burly old man walked around the room, placing each artwork in front of the students until he reached Jean.

"Good job, kid. You have a real talent... So keep up the good work." The man spoke genuinely for once and Jean mumbled a thank you in response. He flipped over his painting and read the grade.

**11/10 Great work.**

Jean felt a small smile tug at his lips. Usually Mr. McGuire wouldn't leave notes like that. It made Jean feel happy, in a weird way, knowing no one else received an 11/10.

"The principal has asked me to announce this," The teacher spoke, standing in the middle of the room. "Ms. Ral was fired recently. And don't tell him I told you this, but it's probably because she was making sexual comments towards the English teacher." Jean suppressed a chuckle, and looked over to see Armin staring at the teacher wide-eyed completely astonished he would say such a thing. This only made the situation all the more hilarious. "Anyway, anyone who had third hour biology with Ms. Ral is now moved to third hour biology with Ms. Hange. Good luck with that... _thing_." With that, the teacher sat down at his desk, telling the students to "Sketch or something."

Jean quickly realized Ms. Ral was his biology teacher, and he would now be switching classes. _I wonder if Armin's in Ms. Hange's class?_

"Can I see your painting?"

 _Speaking of Armin..._ Jean spun around in his seat and looked up at the blonde. Armin stared down at him, a grin appearing on his face.

"Why?" Jean questioned. Armin shrugged, sitting in the empty seat next to him.

"Just curious."

"I... guess?" Jean handed over his painting and watched Armin's eyes light up in delight. He was a bit embarrassed to be showing someone his artwork, especially something he did such a long time ago. But he figured it was worth it to see the rare smile on Armin's face.

_One Year Ago_

"Oi!" Jean commanded sternly. "Hold still, man."

The freckled boy stopped wobbling on his stool, and grinned crookedly from across the room. His nose crinkled up and a dark strand of brown hair fell over his eyes.

"Sir, yes-sir!" He saluted quickly. Jean grumbled something under his breath before lifting his paintbrush once more. "Hmm? What was that Mr. Bossy pants?" The other boy teased.

"I _said_." Jean spoke through clenched teeth. "How am I supposed to paint you when you keep moving, idiot?"

"Oh!" The boy said as if he was just realizing his mistake. He straightened out his stool and chuckled lightly. "Okay, sorry."

Jean dipped his brush into a pale skin tone and swiped the bristles across the blank canvas. He repeated the same action until the light sketch of a boy's face was a thin layer of fleshy tones. Jean's brows furrowed together in concentration while outlining the portrait's dorky smile, and brightening up his squinted eyes. All the while the boy across from Jean sat on his stool, swinging his legs out slightly.

"Are you almost done?" The boy groaned, obviously becoming impatient.

"You can't rush art," Jean retaliated. "Besides, I would have been done by now if you wouldn't have so many freckles on your damned face."

The boy snorted in amusement while Jean continued to swipe his brush seemingly carelessly across the canvas. When in reality, each time he flicked his wrist it was for a calculated and well thought out purpose. By the time Jean began watercoloring the boy's hair, his "model" was groaning impatiently.

"Do you want this to be halfway decent or not?" Jean snapped, instantly shutting the boy up. "Unless you wanna look like a troll with no hair, I suggest you be quiet."

"You're... Strange." The freckled boy smiled, his gaze lifting to the ceiling.

"So are you," Jean replied, dipping his brush into a glass of water. "Is that such a bad thing?"

"No." The boy simply said. "Are you finished?"

"Almost, don't get your panties in a bunch." Jean answered. He carefully slid his brush across the "boy's" dark strands of hair.

Jean used multiple colors for the boy's hair, ranging from dark browns to varied shades of black. He somewhat regretted picking this kid from class to do a watercolor of, due to all of his unique features. But this was his best friend, so of course he said yes when the freckled boy bounded up to him, practically begging to be partners.

"Okay, I'm finished." Jean announced, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. He set down the paintbrush and picked up his finished canvas. "You ready?" The boy nodded eagerly and Jean spun the canvas around to show him.

The freckled boy sat on his stool staring at the painting with an unrecognizable expression. Jean began to worry that his best friend didn't like the portrait. He had made no reaction what-so-ever.

"Do you... like it, Marco?" Jean questioned wearily.

His friend's expression never changed, but instead the freckled boy stood slowly. Jean frowned and tilted his head sideways. Suddenly, the other rushed forward and pulled Jean into a huge, rib-crushing, hug. Jean felt his eyes widen before he awkwardly set down the canvas.

"No... As always, it's amazing, Jean." Marco whispered, hugging him tighter.

***

"Jean? Did you hear me?"

"Huh?" Jean blinked and looked up at Armin.

"I asked you who this watercolor is of." Armin repeated, setting the painting to the side.

"Oh, that?" Jean chuckled, his gaze shifting to the floor. "Just an old friend..."

***

Jean loathed biology, for many reasons. One reason being that he couldn't understand half of their learning material. Most of the vocabulary words and terminologies they used seemed impossible to pronounce, and spell. Every word sounded similar to him and just became jumbled up into one huge mess.

 _What in the hell is a_ _vascular cambium_ _and why do I need to know this?_ Jean would often question himself.

But, as he entered his new third hour class something felt off. The teacher wasn't in the room when he arrived, which seemed odd. Jean scanned to the classroom to find anyone tolerable to sit with. This biology class seemed to be a lot nicer than his previous one.

The students sat two to a table. Each table had it's own faucet and test tube rack. Unlike his previous biology class, which consisted of a bunch of desks lined up in rows. Towards the back of the room there was a large metal cabinet, that was labeled: **Do Not Open**. It had a metal chain and lock slung around the handles to keep people out. Jean guessed it probably held acids, chemicals, and other dangerous substances.

Next to the cabinet was a flimsy shelf, empty test tubes and measuring cups that varied in sizes and shapes sat upon it. One row was filled to the brim with old textbooks that seemed to be coated in dust.

A head of blonde hair caught his attention, the boy was currently smiling down at his notebook. Jean couldn't help but roll his eyes.

_How can someone seem so happy in a Biology room?_

"Hey Armin, mind if I sit here?"

"Huh?" Armin looked up, and seemed momentarily surprised to see Jean. "Oh yeah, sure!" The blonde boy moved his bag over to his side of the table. Jean sat down, and dropped his bag with a huff, hoping to get this class over with. "I almost forgot that Ms. Ral was fired." Armin said as the bell rang. A minute or maybe more passed by before Jean decided to speak up.

"So...Uhm. Where's the teacher?" He asked hesitantly, looking behind his shoulder. Somewhat expecting Ms. Hange to pop up out of nowhere.

There was a rumor going around the school that she is the craziest teacher in the district. They say she was so ecstatic about their learning material one day that she almost knocked over an aquarium and could've let a highly poisonous snake escape its cage. Another student said she threatened to "accidentally" dump a whole vat of nitric acid on a student's head if he didn't "Shut up and listen." Jean wondered how she could still be a teacher after all of that.

"Oh, Ms. Hange? She's always late. But, I'm sure she has her reasons." Armin chuckled. He was in a much better mood than the day before. Jean frowned, wondering how he could be so cheery after what had happened. Perhaps he just really enjoyed this class?

Just then, a blur of color flung through the classroom door.

"S-Sorry.... I'm... late, class. Oof!" Ms. Hange huffed, plopping herself onto a nearby stool. She seemed to be out of breath, as if she just ran a marathon.

The woman had her brown hair tied back into a messy ponytail, and large rectangular glasses sat upon her face. Once she regained her breath, she stood and pushed her glasses further up her slanted nose.

"Today, we have some of Ms. Ral's students in class. This will be a permanent thing from here on out." She clasped her hands together and smiled. "It's such a shame she was fired, but... Rules are rules!" Ms. Hange began to walk around the room, scrutinizing every new arrival. Every now and then, she would stop, lean in, and narrow her eyes at a student. And once she got to Jean she did the same, only this time she decided to speak.

"You are sitting next to Armin, I see." Ms. Hange stated.

"Uh, yes?" Jean confirmed looking back at Armin and then to her.

 _Why does she care anyway?_ He asked himself.

Ms. Hange leaned forward, her hands clasped behind her back.The smile on her face slipped momentarily, and it made her seem even scarier than she already was. Jean swallowed nervously, trying his hardest to not seem intimidated, which he was. The other students remained completely silent around them.

"I'm trusting you," Ms. Hange whispered lowly, so the surrounding classmates wouldn't hear. "to not disrupt my brightest pupil. Or else, you may be the one getting dissected instead of the frogs, understand?"

Jean bit back a nervous chuckle and nodded quickly. Ms. Hange smiled, patted him on the head, and walked towards the front of the room once more. Jean exhaled in relief. At least when he had Ms. Ral as a biology teacher she wouldn't make him want to piss himself out of fear.

"She's really nice once you get to know her." Armin assured Jean once the teacher had made it to the front of the room. "Trust me, Ms. Hange will grow on you."

"I'm sure she will." Jean whispered in response. "Just like a creepy fungus."

Yes, Jean loathed biology.

***

"Could it be? Jean? _The_ Jean Kirstein, is asking me for a favor?!"

Jean pinched the bridge of his nose and huffed in annoyance. He had taken the photo of Armin's parents to a photo restoration service to repair it. Of course at the time he didn't realize his old friend Connie worked at the front desk. And he used the term "friend" very loosely.

Back in Jean's old school he had sat next to Connie in multiple classes. Connie was a short little guy, with a shaved head. But his personality made up for his small demeanor. Jean thought he was just a little leprechaun for the longest time.

"Connie, I don't even know why you're here, nor do I care-"

"I dropped out-"

" _-nor_ do I care." Jean interrupted him. "I just need you to fix this photo for me. Can you do that?" Jean fished the picture out of his pocket and held it out to him. Connie let out a low whistle.

"Phew-wee, I don't know man. It's in pretty bad shape..." Connie took the ripped photo out of Jean's hand and flipped it over, reading the writing out loud. "R.I.P Mom and Dad? Jean, what the hell is this?"

"Dude, don't read that! It's a friend's of mine, just fix it, dammit, or I'll find someone else who will." Jean was highly annoyed that Connie was still his obnoxious, overly-curious self.

"Right, I'm sorry." Connie mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "But it might take a day or two to do it."

"Do what?" Jean asked with a sigh, feeling a little ashamed he lashed out on the poor kid.

"Uhm, basically we just go into Photoshop, and rearrange the image so it's whole again, then we reprint it. I can fix the writing on the back too...if you want?" Connie suggested, leaning on the counter. "That part would be free of course." He quickly added.

"Yeah, do that." Jean answered, not entirely sure of what to say. "T-thanks man, I appreciate it."

"Hey, no problem! I'll see you around, alright?" Connie smiled. Jean began walking out and waved goodbye. But not before replying with a quick, "Right."

As Jean exited the store, and entered the rain he felt a warmth enveloped his whole body. And despite the freezing weather he began to smile.

He couldn't remember the last time he has gone out of his way to do something nice for someone. Jean had to admit, It felt _good_ to do... good. Especially when it's for someone you like. A certain someone named Armin Arlert.


	9. Principal Erwin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Armin get into an argument. Armin is called to the office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts out pretty shitty so I apologize, but it improves near the end. The next few chapters are ones I'm actually proud of.

Chapter Nine

(Principle Erwin)

Pov: **Armin**

Armin ran his fingers through his bangs before sitting down at the lunch table with Eren and Mikasa. He began to rip apart the stale bread roll that was placed upon his lunch tray. An angry scowl etched onto his face as he picked up his fork and stabbed it into the seemingly inedible bread.

"Whoa, psycho. Calm yourself." Eren chuckled, watching Armin struggle to pull the fork out of the bread. Mikasa lightly jabbed Eren in the side with her elbow before looking over at Armin as well.

"You've haven't been very talkative lately, what's wrong?" Mikasa asked. Armin sighed, placing down his fork giving up on the stale lump of wheat.

"Nothing..." Armin replied, resting his cheek on his hand. "I'm just really stressed out about the state exams."

_I shouldn't lie to them... But, if I tell them about Reiner, Bertolt, and Annie... Or even about my book.... They'll definitely freak out and attack the three of them. It's not that I'm worried about Mikasa's but more so Eren's safety. Reiner is the star quarterback, and Annie is incredibly strong for her size, there's no way Eren could beat them. Besides...I don't need their protection. I'm not a weak little daffodil, I can fend for myself._

Armin shook the bad thoughts away and slid his hands under the table, forming them into fists. He began to zone in on what Mikasa was saying.

"So, I was thinking we could all hang out after school this weekend?" She suggested.

"Yeah, we haven't spent much time together all year!" Eren agreed.

"I don't think so, I have to study for the state tests." Armin interjected, opening his milk carton and taking a small sip of the bland dairy the school provided. He had to admit the schools' lunch was horrible, but it was better than attempting to make his own lunch. Unknown by most, Armin is a horrible cook.

"But, those aren't for another month!" Eren reached over and grabbed Armin's shoulder, forcing him to set down his milk. "Pleeease?"

Armin forced himself to look away from Eren's begging eyes. He already knew what would happen. He would turn around and see those big green eyes and he would melt like putty in the boy's hand... Of course, when Armin finally glanced over at his best friend he couldn't help his forming smile.

Eren's bottom lip was puffed out and he was tilting his head to the side like a lost puppy. He continued to do this until Armin scowled at him.

"Fine!" Armin huffed, crossing his arms like a child. "Just... stop looking at me like that!"

Eren smiled victoriously, and began to eat his own lunch. Mikasa had ignored their entire conversation and was typing away on her phone, probably texting her female friends. Armin was glad she was hanging out with people of her own gender, being around two guys her entire life has really distorted her inner female.

"Football season starts soon." Eren thought aloud. Armin instantly pictured Eren standing side by side with Reiner, the star quarterback. Both of them working together and smiling on the field, becoming close friends.... No. Eren would _never_ be friends with Reiner.

_I despise that guy. Stupid, self-centered, pig. Why was he flirting with_ _me,_ _of all people? Does Reiner not realize he would be the last person I would ever consider dating? He's nothing like-_

"You're joining the football team?" Armin heard a familiar voice say in disgust. He looked behind his shoulder to see Jean, standing over their lunch table.

Armin became paralyzed with fear. What if Jean spoke about what happened with Annie, Reiner, and Bertolt? Or even about Reiner flirting with him?

"Why do you care, horse-face?" Eren scoffed.

"I _care_ because I'll have to be on the same team as you." Jean replied just as aggressively.

" _Please_ , you won't make it past day one of tryouts."

"At least I'll make it to tryouts!"

"Why don't you just leave!?"

Armin watched the two boys bicker back in forth in awe. He wondered how long the two of them have known each other. And why did they seem to dislike each other so much?

Eren got up from his seat and narrowed his eyes at Jean. Jean stood slightly taller than the brown-haired boy and looked equally as angry. Eren continued to yell random insult after insult at the taller boy. Many of those included the odd nickname "horse-face." While Jean shrugged each one off.

"I don't have to explain myself to you!" Jean snarled, lightly pushing Eren away from him.

"Then why in the hell are you still here?!" Eren replied snidely, pushing the taller boy as well.

Armin watched Jean's eyes widen in anger as he stepped forward. Without a second thought Armin stood and separated the two boys before Jean could lash out.

"Stop it you two." Armin demanded pressing his hand into their shoulders. Jean seemed to be affected greatly by the action, and relaxed immediately. Eren however, still attempted to charge forward. That is, until Mikasa pulled him back by the collar of his t-shirt.

"Oh! H-hey, Armin. I heard your birthday is coming up." Jean said, shifting his attention fully towards the blonde.

Armin quirked an eyebrow while looking up at the taller boy. _Why is he acting so strange?_

"Yeah it is! Why does it matter? Just leave!" Eren shouted, struggling to escape Mikasa's clutches. Armin rolled his eyes and faced Jean once more.

"Shut it, Yeager!" Jean growled. Then, his expression morphed and he began smiling softly at the small blonde. "Well, I wanted to know what you were planning to do."

"Go away you cre-" Eren started, only for Mikasa to slap her hand over his mouth. She leaned forward, whispering a threat in his ear. Something along the lines of: "Interrupt them one more time, and I'll stab you."

"Nothing to special..." Armin replied, completely ignoring his enraged friend. "...why?"

"I, uh, I got you a gift, and I was wondering- I was wondering if you would like to hang out sometime so I could give it to you?" Jean asked nervously.

Armin looked over his shoulder for a quick second and saw what he feared most. Mikasa's eyes had lit up with delight, and a huge smile split across her face. He saw her grip slightly loosen around Eren's shirt collar. And he saw her lips part before the inevitable happened.

"You mean, like a date?" Mikasa grinned, completely releasing her hold on Eren, who immediately scooted away from her in fear.

"No!" Armin interjected, feeling his face heat up in embarrassment. "He's just being nice, Mikasa! Stop that."

 _Mikasa always does this...Trying to make a relationship out of nothing. Jean doesn't like me, and even if he did... Annie would kill me..._ Armin grumbled to himself.

"Y-yeah." Jean stammered. "So, would you want to? Hang out, I mean."

Armin thought for a moment before answering. "Sure, why not?"

A cheeky smile split across Jean's lips, "I'll text you the details later." Armin nodded in agreement, and watched the "horse-faced" boy walk away. He held his breath until Jean exited the cafeteria and turned the corner.

Armin exhaled nervously while sitting down at the lunch table once more. His eyes locked with Eren's and he decided to say what has been on his mind for the past few minutes.

"You know Jean?" Both of the boys blurted out. Armin's eyes widened in surprise, and Eren's narrowed in anger.

"Yeah, he's in my math class, and he's an asshole!" Eren answered as Mikasa stood up to empty her lunch tray. "How do _you_ know him? And why were you being so nice to him?"

"Jean's my _friend_ , and he's helped me out... a lot." Armin bit back a snide remark. He felt the need to defend Jean, for some odd reason. But, he couldn't find it in himself to tell Eren about the incident that took place last Friday.

"You're not actually going to hang out with him, are you?" Eren asked, as if the thought disgusted him.

"Well... Yes, I am."

"Wha...What!?" Eren growled, leaning across the table. "He's a _bad_ person, Armin. Don't let his horse-face fool you."

"Have you even attempted to speak with him in a calm manner?" Armin countered. "You don't know him like I do. And yes, you have helped me out in the times where I needed you most, Eren. But, when you weren't there, Jean was. So, I'd appreciate it if you didn't speak so horribly about him." 

With that Armin stood, picking up his tray in the process. He left the lunch table, leaving Eren in complete shock, gaping his mouth open like a dying fish. Armin didn't look back, instead, he left to go to his next class before the bell rang, an agitated sigh escaping his lips.

***

Armin sat in his World Geography class, tapping his pencil against the wooden desk incisively. The teacher fumbled with the projector, attempting to turn on the small machine.

"Mr. Pixis?" Armin finally sighed, raising his hand.

"Hmm? What is it?" Mr. Pixis grumbled, shaking the projector slightly. As if that would magically make it work.

"It's not turned on. The power button is on the side." Armin said, pointing to the large red button on the side of the box-like machine.

Sometimes Armin thought that the school hired older teachers just to torture the students. Mr. Pixis was in his late sixties now, and wasn't very familiar with technology. Coincidentally, Armin was the only student in class with the decency to help him out.

The other students just sat there, staring off into space. Probably hoping the lesson would be canceled because the old geezer couldn't work the machine. However, Armin would eventually come to the teacher's rescue, and the students would groan in annoyance. Maybe that was the reason no one in that class was particularly fond of him. Some would whisper behind Armin's back calling him a "Teacher's pet." or a "Suck up." Truth be told, Armin just wanted to continue on with the lesson, and the remarks wouldn't bother him.

The students in the class yelped and covered their ears as a loud, high-pitched screech echoed from the ceiling's speakers. Signaling that the announcements were about to start. Another static burst filled the room as the speakers flickered to life.

"Good morning students of Trost High School!" A woman said from the other side of the speaker. She spoke in her usual overly-enthusiastic tone, and another screech traveled through the school. "I hope you're all having a fantastic Monday! Let's get to the morning announcements shall we? Okay, tomorrow's lunch will be-"

Armin stopped listening after that. He didn't participate in any extracurricular activities, so he didn't find any of the information important. He did, however, listen to the fact that football tryouts were pushed back until next month. He hoped Eren and Jean could get along for the sake of their teammates.

"And would these students please come to the principal's office after announcements! Armin Arlert, and... Oh, okay! Just Mr. Arlert please!" The woman spoke. "Have a wonderful day, and work hard!"

Armin stood slowly as the speakers screeched once more before powering off. As he worked his way around the tightly packed desks, and towards the front of the room, every student was looking in his direction. Obviously wondering why someone like Armin Arlert was going anywhere near the principal's office.

"You're dismissed, Armin. Were just watching a video about the landscape of Australia. It's a shame you will have to miss it." The teacher sighed, attempting to find the start button for the video.

 _Yeah... such a shame._ Armin thought sarcastically. He pushed open the classroom door, and stepped into the hallway. The hallway was empty and he could hear the other classes, continuing on with their lessons.

As Armin made his way down the empty corridor, he couldn't help but wonder why he was called to the principal's office in the first place. He didn't think he had broken any rules... Unfortunately, Armin didn't have much time to think about the topic as he turned the corner and stepped up to the large office door. A plaque was nailed above the door's small window, that read:

**Erwin Smith:** **Principal's Office**

With a shaky exhale, Armin wrapped his hand around the silver doorknob, and pushed the door open. The room was completely silent when he stepped inside. Mr. Smith was shuffling through a thick stack of papers on his desk. Armin closed the door behind himself, causing the principle to look up from his paperwork with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Y-You wanted to speak to me, sir?" Armin asked, taking a timid step forward.

Mr. Smith was intimidating, this was a known fact around the whole school. Even the most masculine of students would cower down to him. Mr. Smith was, by far, the strongest person in the district, and not just physically. Although, one time he had to come into a classroom to escort a disruptive student to the hall. The student refused to move, so he just picked them up and carried them out of the class without even breaking a sweat. _(However, a silly rumor has been traveling around school that Mr. Ackerman, the English teacher, was even stronger. How silly, someone who is only 5'3 being stronger than Mr. Smith?)_

But fear wasn't the only reason people respected Mr. Smith. He has been a loyal principle to Trost high school for over five years now. He was confident, intelligent, persuasive, and most importantly, a leader. To tell the truth, Armin looked up to Mr. Smith, he wanted to be just like him. As odd as it may sound, Armin's inspiration was his principle.

"Yes, please take a seat." Mr. Smith nodded, gesturing to the leather chair across from him and his desk. Armin swallowed a bundle of nerves rising within him and sat across from the principle, trying his best to maintain eye-contact.

"Do you know why I called you in here?" Mr. Smith asked while intertwining his fingers.

Armin thought for a moment before answering. "I'm assuming it's due to the incident that took place on Friday... S-sir."

Mr. Smith nodded slowly, "Yes... What happened was unfortunate. I will not tolerate that kind of behavior. So I'll be blunt with you, Arlert. I want to find out the names of your other two attackers, and you will tell me."

Armin felt his palms become clammy and a feeling of unease settled within the pit of his stomach. The vice-like jaw of anxiety clamped down on him like a boa constrictor. He could feel his throat close up and he attempted to push his worries away. Armin was never this nervous when talking to his superiors. But, his emotions seemed to change completely around Mr. Smith. What could he say without sounding completely ridiculous?

Of course Armin knew who his attackers were...

_But, I can't reveal their identities. I'll be labeled as a snitch, I'm already unpopular as it is. Not to mention, if Reiner and Bertolt found out I told on them, and they will, it would only cause them to harass me even more._

Armin wiped his hands on his pants and took a deep breath. "I couldn't tell you, sir." He paused. "I... didn't see their faces, they were wearing hoods."

Erwin chuckled, straightening out a stack of messy files. "You remind me of myself at your age. You are very intelligent, Armin. I admire that you can think on your feet." He continued after a short pause, "But, so can I... Although that lie of yours may have worked on one of your fellow peers, it didn't work on me."

Armin felt his breath hitch as he stared wide-eyed at the man in front of him. He had underestimated just how intelligent Mr. Smith was, and that caused him to get caught in a lie. What was he supposed to do now?

"So, I'll ask you one more time." Mr. Smith declared, "Who were the other two students?"


	10. Trick or Treat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Halloween, everyone gets together to pass out candy.

Chapter Ten

(Trick or Treat?)

Pov: **Armin**

Armin kept his hands clasped together in his lap, pulling and twisting at his fingers like an old dish rag. His nerves were at an all time high and the stress was eating away at his insides like a persistent virus that wouldn't go away. Armin shifted nervously in his chair, his fingers remained intertwined, and he clenched his jaw. He glanced around the room, from corner to corner, as if he was waiting for something, or someone, to pull him out of this nerve-wracking situation.

"S-sir, I appreciate your help. But, I feel as if the incident that took place Friday, won't ever be repeated. Please, just let me handle this on my own. I know I shouldn't.... I want to, but... I-I'm sorry I just can't tell you their names. " Armin sighed shifting his gaze to the floor. He knew he couldn't lie to Mr. Smith any longer, the man would see right through it.

"Look kid, I'm not doing this because I am required to by law. I am doing this because every student has the right to a safe learning environment, and you don't deserve to be treated with disrespect. You and I both know that those kids who attacked you can and _will_ repeat their actions." Mr. Smith responded while leaning forward in his seat, "Annie Leonheart will not be allowed onto school property for at least a month, and shall be removed from any classes that you two share."

"T-that's not necessary, I don't mind having classes with her." Armin interjected quickly. Mr. Smith rose a brow, but nodded.

"Very well, if that's okay with you. However, I have still not been informed of the other two students' names." His principle reminded him, straightening out a stack of papers and setting them aside.

"Right..." Armin whispered, looking around the room, as if that would help him think of a plausible excuse. He gambled back and forth with each option he had. Armin could either tell Mr. Smith the truth, or he could run like hell. He frowned regrettably, knowing there was no way out of this situation. "Okay... I'll tell you their names. But, on one condition, Mr. Smith."

Mr. Smith uncoiled his fingers and leaned back into his chair, "What is it?"

"I don't... want them to be punished."

***

"So, what happened after that?" Jean asked, while walking Armin home. Armin shrugged, making sure to step around a small anthill. He watched the ants stagger around the tiny pile of dirt, each one carried something on their back.

"Isn't that amazing?" Armin smiled crouching down to get a closer look. "Each one of them has their own job to do. They all play a vital role in the survival of their colony. If only our world worked like that, _everyone_ could be important."

Jean scoffed, rubbing his frozen hands together. "I... guess? But, you kind of avoided my question..." Armin stood and wrapped his arms around himself, in an attempt to stay warm in the freezing weather. It was Halloween today, and Jean was coming over to help hand out candy to the children, Eren and Mikasa would be showing up later.

"We should hurry." Armin spoke up, looking down the street. "It's almost dark, and it's really freezing." He took off down the sidewalk, leaving Jean behind.

"H-hey, wait!" Jean jogged to catch up to Armin, and pulled him back by his arm. "You didn't answer my question! What else happened in Mr. Smith's office?"

"I... Ah, um... Are you sure you're okay with Eren coming over to help? I know you two don't get along very well..." He asked with a nervous chuckle, completely ignoring Jean's question.

"Yes I'm sure!" Jean asserted, still holding onto Armin's wrist, preventing him from walking ahead. "Now tell me what happened!"

_I should tell him... He deserves to know._

Armin sighed, pulling his arm away from Jean. He could _remember_ every word Mr. Smith had said after that. Hell, he could remember every word that he said himself. But, he didn't know _how_ to tell the persistent boy in front of him what had happened.

"...I told Mr. Smith not to punish them." Armin whispered, leaning against a nearby tree. The tree's bark rubbed against his palm as he picked at the frozen wood with his paled finger-tips.

"You what!?" Jean yelled, taking a stepped forward. "After everything they did to you!?"

"Y-yeah..." Armin replied, shifting his gaze to the anthill once more. The tiny ants started to pile inside the mound of dirt.

"And what did he say? Who were those guys anyway?" Jean questioned, taking another step forward. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry, I..." Armin shuffled from foot to foot, keeping his arms wrapped around himself. A cold blast of wind swept past them, causing a shiver to run down his back.

"Look," Jean sighed, fiddling with his scarf. He pulled the scarf off and wound it around Armin's neck to help stop his trembling. The soft, dark blue fabric worked to defend against the biting cold. Armin blushed, holding onto the scarf with one hand. However his blush went unnoticed. Due to the freezing weather, his cheeks were already rosy red. Jean stuffed his hands into his coat pockets before continuing, "you don't have to tell me who did it, if you don't want to. But I, at least, deserve to know what happened in Mr. Smith's office, don't you think?"

Armin nodded numbly, looking over at the anthill once again. He often thought about silly things in the most inappropriate times. For instance, right now he was wondering where the queen ant was right now. What is she doing down in that anthill? Of course Armin was fascinated with the idea of an underground colony. But, why was he thinking about _this_ of all times? Perhaps it was just a nervous habit.

"Mr. Smith disagreed at first." Armin breathed. Jean nodded, urging the boy to continue. "However, when I suggested the idea of keeping a close eye on the two of them, Mr. Smith hesitantly gave in. But... I just really didn't want them to be kicked off the football team."

Jean seemed taken aback when he replied, "The people who attacked you... they're going to be on my team?"

"Yes." Armin sighed. "Well, one of them will be. And if this person was to be kicked off the team... our school would most likely lose a lot more games. He's an important player. And everyone would know I caused him to get kicked off the team. They would know I was the reason our school would be losing so many games. That's what I told Mr. Smith, and that's why he changed his mind..."

"Armin," Jean frowned, "that's ridiculous. Now that I'm joining the football team we won't have to worry about that, will we? I'll be the best player by the time tryouts come around, just you wait!"

"I guess." Armin chuckled softly, much to Jean's delight. He stepped away from the tree and playfully shoved Jean's shoulder. A huge smile took up Jean's face and the two of them headed down the sidewalk, towards Armin's home. Each of them seemed much happier as they walked together, shoulder to shoulder.

***

"Eren, stop eating the candy!" Armin repeated, ripping the bowl of Halloween treats from the brunette's hands. Eren scowled and swallowed his mouthful of sweets.

"I'm hungry." Eren whined. "Are you trying to _starve_ me?!"

"First of all," Armin replied, carrying the bowl to the counter, "this candy is for the children. Secondly, there is food in the kitchen, so stop complaining."

Eren huffed before stalking off to the kitchen and opening the fridge. Mikasa followed him, sliding her phone into her back pocket. She was probably texting Eren's parents about their location.

Armin exhaled deeply, looking over his shoulder to see Jean slowly pacing around the living room with his hands stuffed into his pockets. He was looking over the pictures on the living room wall, and studying every object on the shelves. Armin stepped forward and placed his hand on Jean's shoulder. Jean flinched, quickly backing away from the shelves.

"S-sorry, I shouldn't have been snooping around like that." Jean chuckled lightly. Armin smiled, and grabbed a picture of his grandpa off the shelf.

"It's okay to be curious." Armin laughed.

"It's just that... I expected your house to be different." Jean said, looking over the living room quickly. Armin frowned placing the picture back on the shelf.

"Huh?"

"I don't know." Jean sighed. "I guess I expected it to be more... _Armin_."

"So, more like me?" Armin questioned with a smile. Jean blushed and opened his mouth to reply, only for the doorbell to interrupt him. "I'll get it!" Armin yelled, rushing to the door with the bowl of candy.

As he opened the front door of his grandfather's home, expecting a child to be waiting on the other side, in walked his grandfather. The old man wore a dark trench coat, along with a light brown hat. He entered the home without a word or a second glance towards the children inside. Eren and Mikasa exited the kitchen, staring at the man they knew as Armin's grandfather, with wide eyes. Jean sat on the old, burgundy, couch throwing suspicious glances at the old man entering the home.

"-Oh! Hey grandpa, how was work?" Armin asked with a smile. The old man shook his head with a sigh. He took off his trench coat and hung it up next to the doorway upon a hook. Armin's smile wavered ever so slightly as he set down the bowl of candy onto a nearby stand.

"You were fired for being late again?" His grandfather spoke, completely ignoring the boy's question. "I was informed by your boss."

"Oh." was all Armin said, looking over his shoulder. Jean sat uncomfortably upon the couch, and his other two friends slowly slid back into the kitchen. "About that grandpa-"

"No, it's okay..." His grandfather insisted. "I'm just tired. Have fun with your friends and.." The old man looked over at Jean. "...Whoever that is. I'm going to sleep early tonight, I'm exhausted. Just clean up after yourselves."

"O-okay." Armin stammered. "Goodnight Grandpa." The old man walked away and entered his room without another word. Jean released the breath he had been holding and turned his gaze towards Armin.

"I thought you'd be home alone tonight?" Jean asked.

"So did I..." Armin said, mostly to himself. "Maybe he left work early?"

"Maybe..."

Eren ran back into the living room, his mouth stuffed with whatever foods he could find in the kitchen. Armin watched the brunette suspiciously as he attempted to speak.

"Wash uftp wifch your granschfa?!" Eren shouted. Armin rose an eyebrow before shushing him, indicating that his grandfather was trying to sleep.

"What in the hell are you trying to say?" Jean finally questioned with a glare, interrupting Eren's blabbering.

Eren swallowed quickly so he could respond. However Mikasa cut him off before he could speak. "He said; what's up with your grandpa, Armin?"

Armin shook his head in confusion. His three friends waited patiently for his response. Armin always knew what to say, or what to do. But not in this moment. It's a rare occurrence for Armin to become completely and utterly confused, and this was one of those moments. So all he could manage to say was. "I... I don't know."

***

It was late at night, long after the local children had stopped trick-or-treating. Mikasa had gone home a bit early to get her homework done. And Eren decided to stay, to make sure Jean didn't do something stupid while at Armin's house. They all sat upon the rickety couch that could be found in almost every senior citizen's home. Armin sat in between the two boys, knowing full well they couldn't sit next to each other without fighting. So he remained squished between the two of them to separate their conflicting personalities.

"It just doesn't make sense." Armin rambled, "Why is he acting so strange? My grandpa is usually very kind to new people, and welcoming too."

"Maybe he was just upset that you lost your job... I mean, you didn't even tell me about it." Eren grumbled crossing his arms over his chest reflecting the actions of a disobedient child.

"You didn't tell him?" Jean whispered to Armin, however Eren could still make out what the taller boy had said.

"You told horse-face about it before me!?" Eren shouted.

"Shhh!" Armin hushed him with a finger placed over his lips. The blonde boy looked over his shoulder and sighed in relief knowing his grandfather was still asleep. "Okay yes, I just didn't get the chance to tell you, alright?"

"I still think it's ridiculous that you want to hang out with this idiot." Eren growled, throwing his hands up.

"Hey!" Jean whisper-yelled, looking around Armin's small frame. Armin leaned forward to block the teen's views of each other. However they could easily see over the top of the smaller boy.

"Well it's true." Eren retorted in anger. "It's bullshit. First you flirt with Mikasa, and now you're trying to take my best friend from me too?"

"Eren, calm down." Armin quickly pushed the two boys farther away from each other. "No one's taking me away from you. Don't be ridiculous."

Eren scrunched his eyebrows together in frustration before facing the floor. The brunette's face turned an embarrassing shade of red as he mumbled a quick apology.

"Look, I get it. You two don't like each other. But can you at least _pretend_ to be civilized while we're all together, please?" Armin looked towards Jean whose expression softened instantly. Slowly, the taller boy nodded his head. Eren however, remained defiant, looking anywhere except into Armin's eyes. "Come one, Eren." Armin begged. "For me?"

"Fine." Eren huffed. Armin's pink lips stretched into a large smile.

"Alright, now... hug it out." Armin insisted, pressing his hands together to resemble their embrace.

"That's where I draw the line." Eren growled, scooting further towards the edge of the couch. Armin frowned in disappointment.

"Sorry, but I have to agree with Yeager for once." Jean admitted looking down at the blonde.

"Well... that's still a step forward." Armin smiled, patting both of the boy's on their backs. "Good for you guys, now if we can just do something about your attitudes, hmm?"

"Whatever, _mom..._ " Eren grumbled. Armin chuckled slightly causing Jean to follow suit. Soon the household was filled with the two boy's uncontrollable laughter that they attempted to muffle with their hands.

Eren just smiled at the two of them, amusement lacing his tone when he said. "Maybe Mikasa was right about you two..."


	11. Unspoken Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's whereabouts become unknown. In the meantime, Jean celebrates Armin's birthday.

Chapter Eleven

(Unspoken Love)

Pov: **Jean**

"W-what did you just say Eren?" He heard Armin sputter. Jean had also turned his gaze towards Eren throwing him a suspicious side glance. What had the Yeager meant by: "Mikasa was right about you two..."?

He watched Eren's eyes widen in surprise, as if he didn't mean to say that out loud. "N-nothing! I didn't say anything."

Jean snorted. "Eren, did you just-"

"No!" The brunette insisted, standing up from the couch. "I didn't mean it. Not a word! Mikasa is wrong, this whole situation is ridiculous!" Eren quickly gathered his things together and slung his duffel bag over his shoulder. "I'm going home."

Jean watched the angered teen rush to the door as Armin stepped in his path. "Eren wait, what has gotten you so worked up?"

"Just let him go home, Armin... He's throwing a temper tantrum like a little brat." Jean shook his head at Eren, who's face was flushed red with anger. The brunette marched forward causing the blonde to grab his wrist. Jean felt a bolt of jealousy travel through him as Armin's small hand wrapped around the other boy's arm. Eren ripped his wrist out of Armin's grasp before quickly pulling open the front door, and marching out into the cold.

The home filled with a thick silence... Armin remained facing the wooden door, either in shock or confusion, or perhaps both. He was somehow convinced Eren would reenter the home at any moment, but he never did. With an agitated sigh Jean stood from the couch and made his way over to Armin, whose posture was completely rigid, like that of a soldier's. He placed his hand on the smaller boy's shoulder, who instantly spun around, poking Jean in the chest.

"You promised that you two would get along!" Armin whisper-shouted, "You promised me you wouldn't fight!"

"He's the one who spazzed out!" Jean defended himself, matching the smaller boy's tone. He raked his mind for an answer as to why Armin was blaming him for this incident, but was left without an explanation. The blonde boy huffed before crossing his arms over his chest.

"You called him a brat, Jean. You shouldn't retaliate." Armin grumbled.

"I-" Jean sighed, scratching the back of his head. "I'm sorry okay? ...Do you accept my apology?" Armin turned his back to the taller boy in defiance, facing the ceiling. Jean's gaze traveled to the floor for a brief second before he spoke once more. "I promise it won't happen again. Trust me."

Armin refused to respond, instead his back remained facing Jean as he tilted his head up high. Jean was running out of options, so he said the last thing he could come up with. "How about I make it up to you on your birthday?"

Armin looked over his shoulder, slightly intrigued but decided not to give in just yet. Jean huffed in frustration. "Three days from now we can go to this cool place only a few miles north from here. Hell, I'll buy you something to eat if you want. Just... come on man, I'm running out of ideas here." Jean complained, his cheeks tinted a light shade of pink.

"Alright, alright." Armin chuckled, holding his hand out to Jean. Mentally thanking his brilliant mind, Jean shook Armin's small hand. He noted that the blonde boy's hand was not only soft, but very warm too. "It's a deal then."

"Yeah... A _deal_." Jean repeated hesitantly, pulling his hand away. _Deal...?_ He questioned in his head. _That's not the word I was hoping he'd say..._

_***_

***Three days later***

"I can't see anything!" Armin huffed, outstretching his hands from his body.

"That's the point." Jean mumbled in response, guiding the blonde boy forward. Armin had a blindfold wrapped tightly across his eyes and it wound around the back of his head, tied into a small knot at its ends. The dark piece of cloth caused the boy's blonde hair to bunch up in odd positions, but that didn't bother Jean. He thought Armin looked absolutely adorable either way.

While Jean led Armin through a small forest path, a chilling breeze blew past them. The cold only seemed to be affecting Jean though, for he had offered the smaller boy his only jacket. It was much too long for Armin, not to mention the sleeves slipped passed his wrists, but Armin didn't seem to mind. Due to his stubbornness, Jean wouldn't let the other know just how cold he was; he didn't want to appear "wimpy". But mostly, he didn't want Armin to feel bad for having his jacket. So instead, Jean tugged his beanie further over his ears, that were slightly red at their tips.

Winter was slowing taking a toll on the small town. Sparkling snow lightly dusted the forest floor, and the tree's outstretched branches shined brightly because of this. The icy pathway was narrow and slick, overflowing with frozen structures such as frost bitten icicles hanging from branches and dark bits of bark. Different sized mosses and toadstools lined the tree stumps like a second skin, of course they were beginning to wither away due to the harsh climate. Jean tilted his head towards the sky, that was dark and coated with stars, before quickly refocusing on Armin, who was struggling to stay on his feet. The ground was slippery because of the cold weather; ice patches and jagged rocks were scattered about the forest floor. The taller, light-haired brunette made sure that Armin steered clear from any sort of danger. "We are almost there." He reassured the grumbling blonde boy.

Jean felt a crisp, and likely dead, leaf crumble beneath his foot as they stepped into a clearing just outside the slim pathway. A moment of silence passed between the two boys, before Jean began to smile. This was his favorite spot in the entire town. It was quiet, isolated, and extraordinarily beautiful. Especially in the wintertime.

In front of the two teenagers sat a large frozen lake with the most magnificent hues of blue you would have ever seen. The moon hung high, within the deep blue and violet skyline, reflecting across the icy lake. Miles north sat a patch of dark and rocky mountains that contrasted greatly with their white snow tops. The variety of colors and sheer beauty of this place was enough to blind any passerby. Evergreens, that were pulled down with snow, surrounded bits and pieces of the frozen lake. The green limbs of those ridiculously large trees slouched towards the ground as if the snow atop their branches caused an unbearable strain on them. Thousands of stars shined brightly in the sky, reflecting across the iced over lake. And to go along with this extraterrestrial view, sat an old wooden bench that had just enough room for two people to sit. It didn't matter how many times he'd seen it before, the location would baffle Jean over and over again. He continued to gawk at the scenery before a quiet voice pulled him back towards reality.

"Jean... This is beautiful." The voice whispered in awe. Jean turned to see Armin, and he had pulled down his blindfold so it hung loosely around his neck, much like the flimsy scarf Mikasa always wore. The blonde took in every detail of this marvelous sight, and the other watched him adoringly.

Jean grabbed Armin by his wrist and lead him over to the wooden bench. While watching his breath form in-front of him, he took a seat next to the blonde and set down the backpack that was slung around his shoulders. The dark bag caught Armin's eye as it leaned against the frozen bench.

"By the way," He spoke up, "I've been meaning to ask. What's in that bag of yours?"

"Oh?" Jean replied glancing over at his bag before picking it up and setting it on his lap. Armin watched curiously as the other began to unzip the largest pocket. "I've got your birthday present in here."

"Really?" The blonde boy asked, obviously surprised Jean had actually got him something. It was hard to believe that the boys had only known each other for three months, yet they had already become so close.

Slowly the golden-eyed teen began to pull out a light brown object from his bag, a large smile overtaking his face. Armin inhaled sharply, looking down at a familiar tattered book. And for a second the small boy forgot how to breath properly.

"M-my book.." Armin whispered, grabbing the paperback from Jean's large hands. "You fixed it...?"

"Well, I knew it meant a lot to you." Jean replied with a blush, that was drowned out by the biting cold. Armin began flipping through the pages of his parents' book in disbelief. It was amazing, all the pages were fixed and in perfect condition. Suddenly, he stopped on a specific page and his small hands began to tremble. Out of curiosity, Jean peered over Armin's shoulder to see what had caused him to react like this.

"Jean..." Armin's voice broke in a way that made Jean's heart shatter. It sounded sad, lost, and teetering on the edge of a breakdown. This was the blonde haired, blue-eyed, extremely feminine, teenage boy, named Armin Arlert Jean was talking to. The one who always seemed so happy and cheerful on the outside, revealed his darker side just now. His empty eyes and broken voice echoed throughout Jean's mind like a depressing song on repeat. Armin cupped his hand over his mouth while looking down at the page in his book. "Y-you... I can't believe... How did you do this?"

It was the picture of Armin's parents. Except, unlike before, it was not ripped in half. The picture was whole again, and as he flipped it over, Armin realized the writing was as well.

"Well, it's really Connie who did it, I jus-"

Armin whimpered before throwing himself into Jean's arms, cutting him off mid-sentence. "T-thank you, Jean! ... I, really... It means a lot."

With widened eyes, Jean slowly wrapped his arms around the smaller teen. Although he didn't show it, Jean truly was at peace. And if he had a choice, the 'horse-faced' boy would stay in this position forever, holding the smaller blonde in his arms. That way, no one could ever hurt him again, not if he had anything to do with it.

Sadly, all good things must come to an end, and after a moment Armin pulled away from their embrace. However, he kept the book wrapped around his arms protectively and pulled tightly against his chest. Jean sighed before looking away, tilting his head towards the sky. The stars were especially bright tonight, lightening up the dark hues of the endless skyline. This only seemed to further illuminate the frozen lake like that of a soothing night-light found in a child's bedroom.

"It's amaz-" Jean stopped mid-sentence when something silky and smooth leaned against his shoulder. He craned his neck slightly to see Armin's blonde strands of hair falling over his shoulder and tickling the nape of his neck. The small blonde had his eyes shut, and his mouth was slightly agape. Soft, almost rhythmic sounds came from Armin's throat, imitating that of a small kitten's purr. It seemed that the boy had fallen asleep on Jean's shoulder, still clutching his father's book.

"Armin?" Jean whispered, "Armin...? Don't tell me you fell asleep?" However he was left without an answer, leaving Jean to conclude that yes, Armin had passed out on his shoulder. Not that he minded this at all... But he planned on finally telling the other boy exactly what he was thinking. Jean planned on putting everything out on the table, and seeing how Armin would react. He had been working up the courage all night for this very moment. But of course, the boy had fallen asleep. Jean looked down and couldn't help but notice how adorable he was when he slept. Although, those soft pink lips are what really caught his attention.

Jean shook his head with a sigh, "Ya know... I brought you to this place because it reminded me of you." He continued speaking, knowing that no one was listening. He scanned over the scenery quickly. "Take these evergreens surrounding us as an example. They remain strong and sturdy even in harsh climates... Just like you." Armin inhaled and exhaled in calm, even breaths.

_This is the most peaceful state I think I've ever seen him in._ Jean noted. He looked around himself before pointing towards the sky. Jean continued to speak to the sleeping boy, still determined to tell Armin how felt. Whether he could hear him, or not.

"And do you see the cluster of bright stars over there? Do you see how beautifully they shine? To me, they look just like your eyes." Jean smiled, turning his attention towards a patch of rocky mountains miles north of the lake. "...Or those mountains, they are gorgeous from afar and seemingly perfect. But up close, those mountains have sharp edges and jagged rocks..." A long silence passed between the two boys and Jean forced himself to continue. "I can see your sharp edges, Armin. You try to hide it, but I still see. You are perfectly imperfect and that's why... That's why I love you."

At this point, the moon was high in the sky, shining down upon the two teenage boys. One of them, sleeping in blissful peace, the other, admitting a secret not only to the sleeping boy, but to himself as well. Both of them, unaware of the other's feelings. Each of the teens, completely oblivious to the brutal fact they are truly and madly in love with one another. _In Love?_ You say, _With a person they've barely known for three months?_

But can you really place a time span on love? To say you can't be in absolutely infatuated within a year of meeting someone sounds, dare I say, ignorant. A person's true feelings can't be dictated by the amount of time they spend with someone, but rather, _how_ that time is spent.

Jean closed his eyes momentarily before releasing a shaky breath. "Now... If only I had the guts to say that while you were awake."


	12. Replaced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's POV.

Chapter Twelve

(Replaced)

Pov: **Eren**

"Jean, Jean, Jean." Eren snarled, pacing up and down an empty sidewalk. It was dark outside and an unmistakable rage swept through Eren, keeping him warm even in the frozen weather. His fury was kindled by the likes of Jean Kirsten. "That's all he ever talks about." Eren grumbled to himself. 

A slight buzz went off in his pants pocket and he quickly picked up his phone. The brunette sighed in disappointment when he realized it was just Mikasa texting him: "Where are you?!" He was hoping Armin had finally texted him back. Ever since he started hanging out with the 'horse-faced' boy, Armin never had any time for Eren.

"Stupid, horse-faced, jerk." The boy grunted, kicking a rock off the sidewalk's ledge. "I'll show him. I'll kick his ass."

In a last desperate attempt to speak to his best friend, Eren dialed Armin's number and placed the phone to his ear. One, two, three, four... Four. The phone rang _four_ times before the line clicked and Armin's voice sounded from the other end.

"Hello!"

"A-Armin he-"

"...So sorry I missed your call." His voice continued. Eren felt his shoulders slump in dismay, realizing it was only his automated voicemail. "I promise, I'll get back to you as soon as possible."

Eren shut down his phone before gently placing it back into his pocket. He began to stare down the empty road, then plopped onto the sidewalk's ledge, his actions resembled that of a disobedient child. His knees were pulled up to his chest, and with a sad sigh Eren rested his chin against his kneecaps.

He blew his bangs out of his eyes, tilting his head towards the starry sky. When left without a distraction, his thoughts began to take over. Thoughts that corrupted his body like an unwelcome virus.

"Is Jean a better friend than me?" He asked himself sadly, "Am I doing something wrong?"

A cold wind flew past him, blowing his hair to one side. Eren curled himself into a tighter ball, attempting to preserve his body heat. The anger that once filled him to the brim, was slowly fading away. And that white hot rage was replaced with an unbearable feeling of regret. His features softened and his gaze faced the graveled-concrete below.

"I don't know what I did to make him ignore me... Me and Armin were always best friends..." He bit his lip to suppress any upcoming emotions. Eren felt the back of his eyes began to sting. Pulling his fist into tight balls he pushed the urge to cry deep down inside himself. "But now... he never speaks to me. I'm being replaced aren't I?"

Eren began to fidget with the hem of his shirt, as a car zoomed by on the street. Judging by the position of the moon it seemed to be at least midnight. His parents, and Mikasa, were probably worried sick. But Eren refused to go home, not yet, not when he felt so... broken.

A small drop of water landed on his hand and trailed down his wrist, Eren looked down at it curiously. In the distance multiple drops were landing on the street, pounding off of the cement with quiet thumps. In not even seconds, a downpour had started. The brunette sat still welcoming the cold beads of water, he had forgotten to bring an umbrella and just didn't have the motivation to move.

He watched as a droplet of water slid down his brown bangs before collapsing under it's own weight and falling onto his knees. His eyes began to swell up once more, as an unwanted sadness enveloped him. The rhythmic beats of the rain slapping against solid concrete sounded almost miles away, Eren was lost inside his own mind.

"What did I do wrong?" His voice cracked sadly, "I'm trying so hard, but nothing I do seems to help." Eren's eyes were completely glossed over, tears encased his vision like an inescapable tomb. His fists remained in tight balls, causing his nails to dig into his palm almost drawing blood. Eren's vision was blurred, so he blinked rapidly hoping to force his tears away. However, this just caused them to tumble down his cheeks like heavy boulders, only to be washed away by the rain. And once those first few tears escaped their prison, the rest followed freely. The boy threw his face into his hands, hunching his body over himself like a rag doll. His eyes were red and swollen, as he sobbed sadly. Eren's lungs scavenged for air, and he gasped unevenly to swallow any oxygen he could. He was completely broken, sore, distraught.

"Why...?" He sniffled, forcefully wiping his tears away, only for more to take their place. "Why can't I do anything right? Once! I just want to talk to him _one_ more time... But now? Now I'm sure he hates me." A broken whimper escaped his lips, and Eren tugged his hair downwards to cover his face. Another car passed by reflecting their headlights against his skin. His clothes were drenched, and his face was blotchy and red. He watched the car slowly pull to a stop.

Eren quickly snapped his head to the side, so whoever was inside the dark vehicle couldn't see his face. He could hear a door open before slamming shut. His heart race increased as the pounding footsteps closed in on him.

"Eren? I've been looking all over for you!"

Eren's voice came out in a harsh whisper, "Go away, Mikasa."

"Eren?" The black haired girl bent down to his height. "Have you been crying?" She peeked her head around to get a good look at the brunette's face.

"No!" He insisted, throwing his arm over his face to cover his eyes. "I'm fine, alright!?"

"Eren..." Mikasa sighed, grabbing his hand and laying onto his lap. She reached forward and brushed his wet bangs out of the way, studying his face. His gaze shifted to anywhere but hers. "Is this... about Armin?"

"N-no... I said I'm fine, dammit, leave me alone!" Eren rushed to stand to his feet, only to trip over himself and fall to the ground. He crossed his arms over his chest in defeat, a glare taking over his face.

"Calm down, I understand... if you don't want to talk to me about it." Mikasa looked away sadly. "Let's just get you home." She held her hand out to the boy, who only turned away and pulled himself to his feet. This time, he took a bit longer to stand before making his way to the car.

The rain continued in steady beats as the two piled into the silent vehicle, listening to the water bounce against the car's exterior. Eren sat in the back seat as far away from Mikasa as possible. She only shook her head at his childish behavior before buckling her seat-belt. She put the car in reverse and pulled down the empty street.

"That was very reckless of you," She stated, looking straight ahead. "you probably caught a cold by now."

Eren remained silent, faced the window, and watched the buildings zoom by in blurs along with the freezing rain drops. Mikasa wished Eren would be comfortable enough to speak about his problems to her, but she knew he had only been able to do that with Armin. So, she tried her hardest not to take it personally.

"Your mom was worried sick." She continued. Again, she was met with his silence. An awkward tension filled the car... "Eren?"

Eren shuffled uncomfortably in his seat, trying his best to block out his adoptive sister's words. He didn't want to speak to anyone right now. He just wanted to be left alone for a little while.

"Just answer this one question for me, Eren." Mikasa finally said, "Then, I'll leave you alone."

Eren nodded for her to continue.

"Are you... going to be okay?" She asked, glancing in her rear-view mirror. Eren took awhile to answer, looking away from the window for a brief moment. He shrugged his shoulders sadly and returned his gaze back towards the fogged-over glass. The car fell into silence once more, and Mikasa frowned. Her hands remained tightly clasped around the wheel, her attention fully focused on the road ahead. She wanted to help her little brother, she truly did. But her words had escaped her. So, completely out of ideas, she did was she was told: "Get Eren home, safely." That was all she could do for him now...

***

"Eren, wake up." Mikasa repeated, shaking his shoulders. "You're going to be late for school."

Eren let out an annoyed groan before rolling over in his bed, covering his face. His eyes were still blood-shot from last night, and he had only gotten three hours of sleep. "That's the point." He groggily replied.

Mikasa ripped the covers off of his bed before throwing them to the floor. Eren curled into a small ball, and shoved his face into his pillow. "Come on, Eren. I don't have time for this."

"Please?" The brunette whined, turning to face her. His bottom lip was puffed out and his green eyes melted into a pleading expression. Mikasa scoffed, knowing full well she couldn't tell him no. Not when he was looking at her like that...

"Alright fine, you can stay home today." She sighed, placing his blanket back over his body. He closed his eyes gratefully, and almost instantly fell asleep as his head hit the pillow. Mikasa stood still, watching him exhale in deep and even breaths. He seemed much more peaceful and at ease when he was asleep. She turned on her heels and made her way over to his bedroom door. 

"Eren," Mikasa whispered, knowing fully well that the boy was asleep. "I know all of _this_... is about Armin." She placed her hand on the door's knob before continuing. "But you need to realize, none of this will be resolved unless you talk to him, alright? I know he means the world to you and... I... I just want you to be happy."

The black haired girl bolted out of the bedroom, quietly closing the door behind herself. Eren peeked one eye open and sighed, before turning over in his bed. He had heard everything that she had said...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is bit shorter than usual because it is in Eren's POV. But, I wanted to try something new. Please tell me if you guys want to see more of this POV!


	13. Pills and Remorse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren can't handle all the shit he's put through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a question on my Wattpad about this so here goes: Mikasa and Eren live alone together. But Eren's parents check up on him occasionally. They travel/work a lot, so they'd rather have him live with Mikasa than move around from school to school. Hope that helped.

Chapter Thirteen

(Pills and Remorse)

POV: **Not Specified/Eren**

It seemed that the more time Eren took off school, the closer Jean and Armin became. Slowly but surely, Eren’s spot at the lunch table was replaced. The three teens sat together now, Mikasa, Armin and Jean.

"What? _That's_ your favorite super hero?" Jean scoffed in disbelief, "Water man? He sucks ass."

"His name's Aqua man." Armin corrected from across the tabletop. "And he's actually pretty awesome!"

"How so?"

"Well for starters," Armin smiled deeply, glancing over at Mikasa who was on her phone, "He has super strength, control over sea life, exceptional swimming ability, the ability to breathe underwater- which is pretty sweet in itself! Breathing underwater?! That's Insane! I mean, have you _read_ the comics-"

"Alright, Alright- I get it." The other sighed in defeat, "Spare me, oh sea god." The teen dipped his head in a bowing gesture with a smirk.

"Fine then," The blonde crossed his arms over his chest, "Who's _your_ favorite superhero?" Armin raised an eyebrow in anticipation. It was probably Batman, Superman, or worse, he shuddered, Captain America.

A cock-eyed grin took over Jean's features and his eyes crinkled in delight, "The one and only," He paused, "Deadpool!"

For the first time since lunch started Mikasa spoke, "Now you've done it." She hummed, typing away on her phone.

A look of stupidity crossed Armin's face, and that 'look' was pointed towards Jean. The boy's hands curled into fists from under the table, "Seriously? ...Are you being serious right now?"

Jean tilted his head to the side and hesitantly responded, "...Yes?"

"He's not- He's not!-" The blonde boy stuttered, overwhelmed by the other's stupidity.

"Idiot." Mikasa mumbled.

"What? What did I do?!" Jean asked quickly, scooting back in his seat slightly.

"He's not even a super hero!" Armin exclaimed dramatically, "He's an _antihero,_ he kills people- I can't believe you... I don't even know who you are anymore!"

"Pft," Jean waved his hand nonchalantly, "stop overreacting." Armin rolled his eyes at this.

"He's serious about his super heroes." Mikasa added in before zoning back into her phone.

"Oh, by the way," Armin spoke after he had calmed down, "Where has Eren been, Mikasa? He hasn't come to school in about..." The blonde counted backwards from the current date. "a week and a half."

"Uh..." Mikasa suddenly stopped mid-text and set her phone down, "Eren... hasn't been feeling like _himself_ lately. But, I'll make sure he at least stops by tomorrow to say hi."

Armin and Jean shared a glance, Armin's full of concern, and Jean's hoping for a different conversation topic. Slowly, the blonde's appetite dissipated and was replaced with worry. He hadn't spoken, called, or texted Eren for so long. Who knew how the brunette must be feeling right now. And Armin couldn't help but let an incredible guilt consume him that latched onto his heart.

"I see..." He finally responded, "then I'll speak to him tomorrow."

Mikasa only nodded as the bell rang, signaling that the lunch period had ended.

***

"Eren I'm not discussing it this time, you're going to school."

"But-"

"No buts," She insisted, pulling the loose t-shirt over Eren's head and patting down his hair. "They've been wondering where you are, I've caught you up on all your work, so all you have to do is turn the papers in."

" _They've_?" Eren repeated, closing his eyes temporarily, "By _they_... you mean Armin. Not Jean."

Mikasa didn't reply, instead she shoved a toothbrush into the teen's mouth and turned around to grab his supplies. Eren scowled at the bathroom mirror in front of him, ripping out the toothbrush. His appearance was... disheveled to say the least. His face contorted in disgust at the dark bags underneath his eyes. He looked weaker, thinner, paler. Without warning, an overwhelming sense if nausea corrupted his body and Eren fell forward. His hands latched around the sink's ledge in an attempt to steady himself. The groggy teen sunk into a sporadic moment of unconsciousness.

Mikasa ran back into the quiet room at the sound of a crash. She entered the bathroom, where Eren once stood, to see multiple utensils thrown across the tiled floor. The brunette was hunched over the dripping sink, his right knee remained pressed into the cabinet to keep himself on his feet. Mikasa reacted quickly and grabbed the teen, wrapped her arms around his torso, and hauled him back to bed.

"Mikasa?" Eren whispered hoarsely, his throat constricting in pain. He let out a quiet yelp as his sister helped him into bed, before pulling the duvet up to his chin. "I thought- I was going-"

"Shh..." Mikasa hushed him, grabbing a thermometer out of the bathroom and checking his temperature. She shuffled around the small apartment in a rush, completely panicking over Eren's physical state. "You're running a fever, I don't think you're going to make it to school today," Eren attempted to sit up once again, only for Mikasa to press a hand into his chest, forcing him to lie back down. "Lay down. You can't go anywhere like this. I'll pick up some medicine after my shift tonight. Hey, I said lay down."

Eren remained upright in his bed, blinking slowly, the room spun around him slightly and small buzz rung inside his ears. "But I need... to talk to Armin."

"Not today, you can't." Mikasa quickly slipped on her tennis shoes, she was already five minutes late. "I won't let you go out like this."

"But I need-"

"You _need_ to get some rest, eat something, stay healthy, Eren. Until then, you aren't coming to school got it?"

"No." Eren attempted to shout, however his voice broke slightly, causing an uncontrollable string of coughs to claw their way up his throat.

"Why do you care anyway?" Mikasa finally snapped, gripping the doorknob with an incredible force. "You've missed a week of school already without concern of anyone's feelings but your own. Just this morning you said you were too exhausted to do anything, what changed your mind? Because I know it wasn't _me_!"

Eren sat silently in his bed, the covers falling off his torso. He observed Mikasa's anger carefully. She didn't become aggravated often, especially toward him, but when she did, it was for a good reason. Yet, this time something seemed different. A jealous aura filled the room like thick fog. It clouded Eren's mind and held him prisoner within it's grasps.

"You're selfish! Don't you ever think about anyone besides yourself?!" The girl's eyes darkened, "I have feelings too, y'know? But no, that doesn't matter does it?! As long as Eren is happy."

"Mikasa-"

"Keep your brother safe." Mikasa began to mock Mrs. Yeager, "Keep him out of trouble, she says. And I do, I try my hardest to help you _every_ waking second. I bend over backwards for you! And what do I get in return? A shitty attitude, defiance, and idiotic behavior! I've always taken care of you and yet you still treat me as second best"

"N-No!" Eren shouted, his head began to throb. Slowly he brought a hand up to cup his forehead. "I don-"

"Am I not good enough for you? Do I not try hard enough? Should I start talking to someone else and ignore you for weeks on end? Do I need to be more like Armin? Then will you start treating me like an actual human being with feelings?! Tell me Eren!"

Eren seemed at a loss for words. For he knew exactly what Mikasa was feeling; abandonment. "Mikasa, I don't value you any less than..." He paused, regaining his composure, "...any less than Armin. You-"

"Whatever Eren," She snarled venomously while pulling the door open. "if you're still going to deny your actions, after all this, then I'm done talking."

A deafening crack erupted inside the quiet apartment when Mikasa slammed the door behind her. Eren kept his hands in his lap while his fingers coiled together; a frown embedded upon his lips. His head fell downward in despair, brown locks falling over emerald eyes.

"I'm messing everything up... _again_." He whispered begrudgingly.

The rhythmic ticks of the clock seemed to grow louder by the second. And per usual, Eren was left alone... Alone with his thoughts once more.

_Mikasa was right... I'm not treating her fairly. "Selfish." That's what she said...._

Eren pulled himself from the bed, and pressed the side of his body into the wall. Determined, he carried himself into the bathroom to grab some medication before swallowing three pills.

_I'll make it up to her, I'll make it up to everyone._

Eren grabbed his coat from the hook on the living room's wall, before slipping on his sneakers. The unmistakable gleam of perseverance flickered within his deep-green eyes.

_I can't screw this up, I couldn't handle it._

And with that, the teen had left the home.

***

Jean quickly unlocked his locker before ripping it open to grab his gym bag, he was already late for fifth period. Not that he cared too much, it was just P.E. Still, he's already been tardy to that class twice this week and he was sure the office would inform him of this shortly if he kept it up. After pushing his locker shut Jean turned on his heels, slamming face first into another student.

"Aw, fucking watch-" The angered teen suddenly stopped rubbing his likely red forehead and stared at the brunette in front of him in disbelief. "Yeager?"

"Horse-face."

Jean scowled at the boy in front of him, taking in the other's appearance. Eren's hair was disheveled and dirty, his clothes seemed to be thrown on in the dark, and his complexion looked similar to that of a dead fish.

"What are you doing here?" Jean finally spoke, malice lacing his tone. His voice echoed off of the empty corridor walls.

"I need to set something straight with you." Eren sneered, taking a step forward.

"Look if this is about Mikasa-"

"No." The slightly shorter teen interrupted, folding his arms across his chest. "It's about Armin."

Jean remained silent and waited for the other to continue, he had completely forgotten about getting to his class on time.

"You need... to stay away from him. You're a bad influence on him."

"Am I?" Jean chuckled, leaning against his locker with a smirk. He wasn't taking what the other was saying much too seriously.

"Yeah, and I'm sick of it. Armin doesn't even have time to talk to anyone else because you're up his ass all the time! Back off, man!"

Jean's smirk slowly faded into threatening glare. "Watch it, Yeager. You finally come back to school and the first thing that comes out of your mouth is a bunch of bullshit."

"I'm serious!" Eren insisted, suppressing a cough scratching at the back of his throat. "Armin's been different ever since that Friday before the Halloween party, and that's when he started talking to _you_! You did something to him, I'm sure of it!" Eren took a terrorizing step forward, balling his fist at his sides. Then, as Jean's features hardened, he continued his rant. "So I'll ask you one more time before I smash your face in, stay away from him."

Jean pushed himself away from the locker, standing over the obviously-sick-Eren. His demeanor morphed into that of a trained soldier's, and Jean pulled his shoulders back in an authoritative like stance.

"I don't think you can knock anyone down in your current condition."

"Look," Eren chided, "I don't know what you did to Armin, but it won't happen again, got it? If you even think-"

"I never touched him!" Jean suddenly blurted, "I would _never_ do that! Just what kind of person do you think I am, huh?!"

The bell rang throughout the halls, and classes began. Jean was officially late for the third time this week. Then, as the chimes faded into nothingness and the classrooms closed their doors Eren began to speak.

"...You? You're a burden." He whispered darkly, "You've been nothing but trouble since you've moved here, why don't you just go back home!?"

A short silence overtook them, but Jean was quick to break this moment, "Ohh, I understand now." He chuckled lightly, "You're jealous of me, aren't you?"

"That's not it at all! Why'd I be jealous of a horse-faced freak like you?"

Jean ignored the other's insults as he spoke, "You're jealous because Armin's been spending more time with me than you."

"No, I don't care how much time you spend together! I've known him for much longer than you and he trusts me with everything, we're best friends..." Eren thought aloud, somewhat questioning his last statement. Jean wrapped his P.E. bag around his shoulder, shifting his weight to his other foot.

"Oh really? He tells you _everything_?"

"Yeah, things that he'd never trust with monstrous pieces of shit like you!"

When it came down to it, the final insult is what drove Jean over the edge. The enraged teen flung his fist forward, wrapping it into the brunette's shirt, and slamming him into the lockers. Eren let out a weak cough, grabbing onto Jean's fist with his free hand, and onto the lockers with the other.

"You think y'know everything, don't you?" Jean spat, towering over the sick boy, "Well when it comes down to what Armin's told me you don't know shit."

"W-What do you mean?" Eren questioned, not completely convinced that he wanted an answer.

"The scars, the bullies, the suicidal tendencies, the depression! You missed all of it!" Jean bellowed, "Are you that thick-headed?"

"Scars...? Bullies...?" Eren felt the words lodge within his throat.

"Wow." Jean released his hold on Eren, causing the boy to slump to the ground. "He didn't tell you _anything_ did he? Didn't show you the scars from his accident, didn't tell you when he was attacked the Friday before Halloween, and he didn't tell you when he was suicidal after his parents died...? Nothing. You must of done some serious shit for Armin to keep all of this from you."

Eren bowed his head in defeat, "Fuck you... I hate your guts, ya' asshole."

Jean shook his head mockingly, rage still fueling his words, "Keep talking you suicidal bastard, or better yet... Just hurry up and get it over with."

That was the last straw, something broke within Eren just then, and tears began to form in his eyes. This didn’t go unnoticed by the other teen, whose emotions refused to sway, his anger polluted him.

“You’re not seriously going to cry, are you?”

Eren stood quickly, purposely avoiding eye-contact and forcefully wiping away his tears.

He ran.

He ran, and he didn't turn back. And as he ran, he realized... he was alone.

Almost instantly his thoughts began to corrupt into a pure self-loath.

 _You must of done some serious shit for Armin to keep all this from you,_ Eren repeated Jean's words in his head. _The scars, the bullies, the suicidal tendencies, the depression! ...Are you that thick-headed? You're jealous of me, aren't you? You think y'know everything, don't you? Just hurry up and get it over with._ And as these horrible, hate induced words swarmed his mind Eren remembered Mikasa. _You're selfish! Don't you ever think about anyone besides yourself?! A shitty attitude, defiance, and idiotic behavior! USELESS, USELESS, USELESS!_

Tears streaked down the boy's face as he sprinted home. While the wind slapped against his skin, Eren's face contorted into a grimace. His embarrassment was the only thing that kept him on his feet, pushed him to make it home so he couldn't disappoint anyone else. So he could get out of everyone's way.

He flung the door open in a rush, quickly threw his jacket onto the floor, and scrambled towards the bathroom. A sharp pounding began to form inside his skull, and pressed against the edge of his forehead.

Eren scavenged the medicine cabinet for any pill to relieve his excruciating headache, causing multiple items to tumble onto the bathroom floor and scatter about messily. Suddenly, a red-capped pill bottle caught his attention. Without hesitation, Eren snatched it off of the sink's ledge. He had already taken three pills this morning and neglected to read the warning labels.

"Advil can increase your risk of fatal heart attack or stroke, especially if you use it long term or take high doses. May also cause stomach or intestinal bleeding, which can be fatal. These conditions can occur without warning. Do not take more than your recommended dose. **An Advil overdose can damage your stomach or intestines, a drug induced coma is possible,** Use only the smallest amount of medication needed to get relief from your pain, swelling, or fever."

Eren grabbed a handful of white pills before throwing them into the back of his mouth. He reached forward, twisting the sink's handle, and turned on the tap's water.

In needlessly large gulps, Eren swallowed the gushing faucet water along with the many white pills.

It didn't take long for the pills to attack his internal intestines.

Moments passed, and then silence, and soon after, darkness. Eren closed his eyes as froth bubbled up from inside his stomach, leaking out between his chapped lips. His ankles turned in on themselves before giving out completely.

Eren lay still on the cold tiled floor. Heavy, inconsistent breaths, better described as pants, barely escaped his parted lips. Eren's chest felt heavy, almost as if he were drowning, and the oxygen that filled the air seemed to escape him. He gasped, clawed, and heaved against the bathroom flooring, but nothing seemed to stop the growing pain within himself. A trail of blood trickled down the corner of his mouth and that's all it took for Eren to go into shock. His body stopped moving, and his eyes remained screwed shut.

There the boy lay, in a messy yet quiet room. Surrounded by darkness and in a pool of his own tears, froth, blood, and regrets.

This was it... this was truly madness. _Truly, hell._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Long chapter! I'm so proud of it! It's almost 3,000 words, thanks for reading!


	14. Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where there are happy times; worst times are there to make up for lost moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, 3,181 words. Not particularly proud of this one.

Chapter Fourteen

(Betrayal)

POV: **Armin**

The day ended _sluggishly_ , causing the atmosphere to feel _sluggish_ , therefor, Armin began to feel _sluggish_. As he exited the school building, realizing he had just missed the bus, he sighed, "Guess I'd better walk home then."

His tiny feet padded against the cracked sidewalk; the weather was beginning to warm up once again. And the once frost-bitten strands of grass had melted into warm oranges and bright greens.

 _Green_ , Armin thought. _Just like Eren's eyes._

_Eren. Where is he?_

The Spring's rain had started out in small, occasional drops. Armin tilted his chin upwards, watching the clouds skeptically. The white wisps floated gently across the skyline. Transparent trails of fluff scattered about the baby blue hues. It was a sun shower.

Armin felt the outer edges of his bangs begin to stick to his forehead due to the misty water droplets. Slowly, he began to pick up his speed, turning the corner from the sidewalk's edge. His house was still a mile or so away; sitting far back in the quiet town. It remained nestled between two homely buildings that were painted with soft colors and dark roofs. The neighborhood was a friendly one, and many of the surrounding seniors stopped by to say hi, or drop off some baked goods. Armin did enjoy their baking, he somewhat wished he could cook that well.

The rain began to deepen, matting Armin's blonde hair to his forehead. His clothes tapped themselves against his body, hugging his curves in an uncomfortable manner. Armin looked downward with widened eyes... He had worn a white shirt.

White shirts and water don't mix.

The small boy quickly crossed his arms over his now translucent shirt. His cheeks burned brightly as he jogged through the sluggish weather.

 _Sluggish_... Armin's footsteps slowly came to a stop.

He stood still; alone on the water-drop-stained sidewalk. Across the street he spotted another boy, a glare taking over their face. Their tall stature was obvious as they leaned against a barren bus stop pole. A blue car pulled in front of the boy from across the street, and soon it pulled away, and the boy was gone.

Bertolt Hoover.

Just as soon as he arrived, the tall teen was gone. Another car drove by, but, this time, it was not across the street; it was next to Armin. He turned his head to the side, facing an old, grey, vehicle. A vehicle that he recognized as Jean's. Rain drops thudded against the hood of the overused Chevy as the passenger's window rolled down.

"Need a ride?" Jean yelled from his seat, calling out to Armin who was damp from the rain. The blonde kept his arms wrapped around his torso in an effort to cover his clearly visible chest.

"Y-yes." He replied with a shiver, pulling open the passenger door. Jean grabbed some papers from the seat, setting them atop the darkened dash. Armin nodded politely, closed the behind him, and buckled in his seat belt. A small 'click' sounded as the belt locked into place. Armin shuddered, realizing that the seat belt aligned with his scars perfectly, so he shifted, hoping to distract himself from the wretched marks.

Jean shifted the car into drive and took down the street as he spoke, "You look like you've just seen a ghost, what happened?"

"Oh, is it that obvious?"

Jean flicked on his turning signal, "You look pale... and you're eyes are pretty dilated right now."

Images of Bertolt ripping up page after page of his parent's book flashed through Armin's mind.

"I guess I didn't expect it to rain, and uh..." Armin looked down at his soggy shirt, "I'm a little uncomfortable right now."

"Wha-" Jean's eyes shot towards the blonde for a brief moment, then, as his grip tightened around the steering wheel, a blush crept up his neck, latched onto his ears, and dusted over his cheeks. "Y-Your shirt."

"Yeah... Oh no!" Armin blurted suddenly, "I'm getting your seat wet aren't I?"

Jean chuckled, "Don't worry about it, this car's a piece of shit anyway." He slowed the vehicle as they approached a red stop sign. "Hey, wanna stay at my place?"

"Uh, but my clothes..."

"I can lend you some, but they may be a bit... big on you."

"Thank you," Armin smiled, hugging himself slightly. "will your mom be home?"

"Nah," Jean said softly; his almond-creme colored locks swayed slightly as the car turned to the right. "she works night shifts so she should be gone right now. That way she won't see your..." He paused, swallowing the excess amount of saliva in his mouth, " _situation_."

Armin's face heated up in humiliation, but he still managed to mumble a quiet, "Thank you."

"How's... Eren?" Jean asked, already knowing the answer. Still, he felt bad for lashing out on the kid earlier. _Even someone as shitty as Eren didn't deserve that,_ Jean thought. _I shouldn't have stooped to his level._ "Have you spoken to him?"

"No," Armin sighed, "I was hoping he'd come to school today. But he didn't, and he won't answer any of my calls." Armin indicated to the phone in his pocket. "Maybe he's asleep?"

"Maybe..." Jean whispered in shame, his gaze fixated on the road. "I hope... he's alright."

"Awh," Armin cooed, a smile forming onto his lips, "you guys really _have_ been getting along. Are you two texting back and forth behind my back?"

"N-No!" Jean denied quickly, "Don't you dare tell him I said that!"

Armin only smiled, shifting his eyes towards the window.

***

 

 

 

Armin held his hands out in front of him, staring at the sleeves of Jean's shirt in fascination. He was wearing an over-sized red sweater that slid off of his shoulders occasionally. He tugged the scuffed collar back over his clavicle for the fifth time and looked back into the mirror on the bathroom wall. None of Jean's pants would actually fit him; Armin decided to sleep in his own black boxers. Luckily they had not gotten wet from the rain.

He exited the bathroom to see Jean creating a pallet of blankets on the floor.

"I'm sleeping on the floor tonight." Jean said with a mumble, fluffing one of his pillows.

"No," Armin objected, "you slept on the floor last time, it's only fair-"

"The guest gets the bed, no exceptions," Jean continued to lay down sheets of varying sizes and colors, "that's what my mom taught me."

"Then there's only one way to settle this," The blonde declared, "We'll share the bed."

"If that's..." Jean turned his head and made eye contact with the other teen, realizing Armin was only in his boxers and the sweater that he borrowed. "...okay with you?" Jean shook his head in disbelief. "Why aren't you wearing pants?"

"Yours wouldn't fit me," Armin shrugged causally. Jean watched the red fabric slide down the boy's collarbone, exposing his shoulder. The light-haired brunette swallowed gruffly as Armin pulled the shirt upwards, covering himself once more. "You don't mind... do you?"

"N-no." Jean coughed, "of course not."

A bright smile took over Armin face as he bounded over to the bed and jumped onto the mattress. The bed wobbled slightly as Jean stood on his feet, scooping the many blankets into his arms and setting them into a neat pile. He wore light blue pajama pants that hung loosely around his hips along with a white, v-necked, t-shirt. Armin pulled the blanket up to his chin, watching Jean curiously.

Beads of sweat began forming against Jean's neck as he turned his back to the small blonde. He reached behind himself before slowly pulling the t-shirt over his head. All the while feeling two small eyes burning into his bare back.

"J-Jean?" A small voice whispered, worry embedded into his undertone.

"Ahm, I'm just taking off my shirt; nothing else." Jean reassured the other, "It's hot in here."

Armin disagreed, it was actually quite cold, but he didn't respond.

The smaller teen turned on his side, facing the opposite direction of the shirtless boy. He didn't want to creep Jean out by staring at him. Slowly, Armin's eyes began to flutter shut, until a dip in the bed caused them to snap open...

He was lying in bed with _Jean Kirstein_ , a shirtless Jean Kirstein. While he himself only wore a black pair boxers from the waist down. A heavy tension circled the room.

Jean had his back turned to the blonde, his spine remained rigid in fear of accidentally brushing against the other teen. He didn't want to invade his- Wait.

"AHH!" Jean squealed, shooting up from the blankets that covered his body. He scooted back a bit, staring at Armin with wide eyes.

_Did he just...?_

Armin looked up at the petrified boy with a smirk, his eyes twinkled with a mischievous gleam that caught within his deep blue eyes.

"Did you just fondle me?!"

"W-what?" Armin snorted, "I just put my hands on your back, I'd hardly call that fondling."

Jean's eyes narrowed, "I know what you're up to _demon_ , you and your cold-ass hands need to stay away from my body."

"Demon?" Armin laughed through his nose, "Come on, please?" The blonde reach his arms forward.

"Hell no!" Jean shouted, nearly falling off the bed, "I'd rather not get frostbite, thank you very much."

Armin began to pout, "But, I'm cold."

Jean's features softened at this.

"What if I get sick?"

The taller teen slowly settled back into the bed.

"Or I could die."

He rolled his eyes.

"And you're really warm, so-"

"Fine, fine!" Jean gave in, sinking back into the mattress and turning on his side. "Just... don't make it weird."

"It's only weird if you want it to be." Armin whispered, wrapping his hands around the other's bare torso. Jean shivered, pressing his hands into Armin's cold ones in an attempt to warm them. "Is it okay if I hold you like this?" The blonde asked.

"No."

"W-what?" Armin whined.

Jean turned himself around before pulling Armin into his chest. The small boy let out a quiet squeak and Jean nuzzled his chin into the boy's head of blonde locks. Gradually, the larger teen leaned forward, whispering into Armin's ear, "I'm not much of a Cuddler," that was a lie, "but there's no way in hell I'll be the little spoon." That was also a lie.

The blonde's cheeks burned bright red, thankfully he was facing the wall, with Jean's warm body pressed against his own, so this action went unnoticed. However, mentally at least, he began to laugh. Did Jean truly think Armin would believe that he didn't want to cuddle?

"Alright then," Armin breathed pushing himself further into the crook of Jean's neck, "goodnight."

***

 

 

 

A dash of lightning flashed across the bedroom window. Armin curled himself into a tight ball; shaking ever so slightly. His hand was pressed tightly over his own mouth in an attempt to muffle his whimpers of fright. It had started to storm in the middle of the night. Howling winds shook the house, causing the blinds to rustle noiselessly. The blonde's eyes began to gloss over as a loud 'BANG!' ricocheted against the thin, bedroom walls. Thunder sounded off in the distance.

 _Jean must be a very heavy sleeper... Thank god._ Armin thought, holding his arms around himself. His nails dug deeply into his shaking shoulders.

Another roaring bolt of lightening illuminated the dark room. Armin shuddered, biting his hand to suppress his shrieks of pure terror.

Thunder.

Lightning.

Lightning.

Thunder.

Blood.

Thunder.

Death.

Lightning.

Vivid memories came flooding back, Armin buried his face into Jean's pillow staining it with heavy tears. A quiet sob escaped the boy's chapped lips.

"They're dying....blood... red... everywhere." He mumbled incoherently. His face remained smashed into the pillow and his trembling hands reached upward to cup his ears. But the storm raged on... And Armin could hear every last sound, no matter how hard he tried to block them out. Jean's grip tightened around Armin's waist. It seemed to soften the boy's posture, but that didn't stop the memories that invaded his mind.

"Mom... Dad... don't go, don't leave me."

 _Thunder_.

"I don't... want to be alone. Not again."

 _Lightning_.

"I wanna come with you..."

 _Lightning_.

"I can't live without you here."

 _Thunder_.

"I... miss you. I love you."

Another hoarse sob escaped the boy's throat. He swallowed thickly.

"I wanna see you again."

Yet another 'Crack!' of yellow brightened up the room for a split second, reflecting across Armin's tear coated cheeks. His pale fingers began to quiver as they gripped onto the pillow case with an unbelievable amount of strength. Yet, all this time Jean remained asleep, resting peacefully. His body just began to stir and his eyes crinkled in confusion.

"Just once, even... if it's only for a second."

Jean's eyes began to twitch.

"Please... let me- let me... hold your hands again."

His eyebrows furrowed together. Jean slowly became aware of the noises around him. Rain pounding against the roof, thunder, bolts of light. It was storming outside. But, he also heard something else... something shifting, whispering, sobbing... _Armin_. A faint hum escaped Jean's lips.

"Let me... s-see you. Mom and Dad."

The teen's eyes jerked open, his attention quickly turned towards the shivering blonde that had crawled away from his embrace.

"The ocean..." The boy cried, holding a pillow to his face; his voice seemed raw and strangled. "we were supposed to see it. All of us, together! So why did you go?"

"Armin..?" Jean croaked reaching out to the boy. The blonde jumped slightly and his trembling only worsened. It seemed that the more Jean tried to help, the worse the other became.

"Too soon... Y-ou left to-oo soon."

Jean became overcome with worry, so he did the last thing he could come up with. He grabbed the blonde in his arms, placed the teen's small body atop his lap, and pushed the boy's head into his chest. Armin's breathing suddenly halted.

"A-Armin...?" He shook the boy's shoulder a bit, wrapping his other arm under the blue-eyed boy's armpit. The small teen folded his legs around Jean's bare torso in response; exhaling a deep, uneven breath. His legs were smooth and felt like velvet against Jean's clammy back.

"Jean-" His arms tangled themselves around the "horse-faced" boy's neck; Armin latched onto the other's body, and Jean didn't hesitate to hold him as well. "I-I'm so so-sorry. I di-dn't mean to- W-wake you I-"

"Shh..." Jean hummed, running his fingers through soft, blonde, locks. Armin leaned into his touch. "I thought... You told me that you were better. That you didn't have panic attacks when it stormed anymore."

"I-I lied." Armin hiccuped, wiping his eyes with a balled fist.

"God... Armin." Jean sighed, holding the boy in a warm embrace, refusing to let him go. "Just go to sleep, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

"P-promise."

"Yeah, I promise... I'll stay right here."

Jean felt Armin nod against his chest. Not much time pasted before a melodic series of soft snores filled the room. And Jean sighed... And Jean smiled, and Jean was happy. Happy that Armin was safe, protected, calm. Happy that he could hold him like this. And happy that the boy could trust him wholeheartedly.

***

 

 

 

The morning started with a stream of sunlight beaming though half-opened blinds, shining brightly against Jean's eyes. He awoke with a sore neck, and attempted to reach his arm behind his head to rub out the knot, only to realize that it was being held in place by Armin's dainty hands. The boy's had fallen asleep in each other's arms.

Jean blushed at that thought before deciding to shake Armin slightly, "Hey, hey wake up."

The boy's eyes fluttered open, they were a bit red from last night, but other than that and the slight puffiness in his cheeks Armin seemed completely fine. As if the incident never took place.

 _He's so strong,_ Jean thought to himself. _Armin's been through so much shit. It's not fair what this life is doing to him, and yet he chooses me for comfort. Me, of all people, for moral support._ He watched the blonde rub his eyes groggily. _I don't deserve someone like him._

"Morning." Jean smiled, patting the blonde on the head. Armin pulled his neck back to sit upwards and noticed a string of his own drool trailing down Jean chest. His face burned into a dark crimson.

"O-oh my god- holy crap- I'm sorry!" Armin took his sleeve and wiped off Jean's drool streaked chest, before realizing he didn't use his own shirt to wipe of the saliva, he used _Jean's._ "Ah! Sorry-sorry, I'll wash it!" The fumbling boy attempted to stand but Jean only chuckled.

"Armin it's fine, god. Stop being such a geek."

The blonde laughed nervously, "Right, right."

"By the way," Jean got up to stretch. And the other watched his muscles flex intently. "Your grandpa stopped by last night and dropped off some clothes for you. They're in the bathroom if you want to change."

Armin could still feel the heat radiating off of his cheeks, "h-he did?" The boy stood on wobbly feet and made his way towards the bathroom, "Uh.. Thanks." Armin paused for a brief moment, "Y'know... for last night." And with that, he stepped inside the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

***

 

 

 

The bathroom door flung open with a slam and Jean shot up from his spot on the bed. Armin began pacing around the dimly lit room typing away as fast as his little thumbs could, or at least as fast as someone _could_ text on a flip phone. Worry etched across the boy's face and Jean stood.

"What's wrong? What happened?"

Armin kept moving his thumbs at full speed, completely developed into his phone.

"Armin!"

The blonde stopped suddenly, turning to face the other teen, "I-It's Eren! He's... He's in the hospital. I'm sorry, I... need to go!" The blonde quickly slipped on his shoes, rushing to tie the laces. His fingers entangled together, forcing him to retie the shoelaces a multitude of times.

Jean stepped forward, "Wait, what happened?"

"He took too many pills!" Armin said in a rush, tears forming in his eyes, "They think it might have been a suicide attempt, Mikasa was crying over the phone."

"Mikasa was?"

"Yes! Now, I ha-"

Jean's heart clenched within his chest, panic pulsing through his veins. He whispered begrudgingly, "H-holy shit, I'm sorry, Armin."

The blonde quickly slipped his jacket over his shoulders, eyeing the other teen cautiously. Something seemed off... Jean seemed to feel guilty of something... But what?

A sigh escaped Armin's lips before he spoke, “Don't be, It’s not your fault…” Jean looked away… “Is it?" Silence was his response. "...Jean?"

_"...Jean, what did you do?"_

The golden-eyed teen's voice broke when he finally replied, "Armin, I’m so sorry. I didn't think he’d take it literally!"

"W-what?"

"Eren, he came to school yesterday..." Armin's eyes widened, but Jean continued, "He was angry and loud... and I just- I just _lost_ it. I spiraled out of control; stepped over the line." " He apologized once more.

" _Jean_. Tell me what happened." The blonde became overcome with anxiety.

"I didn't mean it- I didn't mean it!" Jean inhaled, "I-I called him a suicidal bastard... and I said-I said that he should just get it over w-with." Admitting what he had said to Eren out loud sounded so much worse than he initially thought. "Armin please... I'm _so_ sorry." He reached out towards the blonde, who only recoiled in disgust.

“H-how could you?! What were you thinking?!”

Jean's gaze fell to the floor, “We joke and fight like that all the time, I d-didn’t think.. I-” Armin suddenly turned on his heel, heading towards the bedroom door. "Armin, wait, where are you going?!”

The boy snarled, "“I’m leaving.”

Jean stepped forward in a last attempt to speak to the aggravated teen. Jean was walking on eggshells, any second now, Armin would crack. He would crack, and he would blow up with white-hot anger. “What? Armi-”

"Don't say my name." He glared, "You… you're monster. I don’t... want to speak to you.”

'Crack'

"You lied," Armin continued with a wobbly lip, "tricked me."

'Snap'

"I could expect this type of treatment from Annie..." 

 _The "eggs" were breaking._ But not in a fiery explosion of fury, like Jean expected. That's not how Armin reacted to hurt, he responded in cold distant tones. Along with harsh words and stinging realities. Whips of hatred; Jean took them at full force, absorbing every hate induced thought that dripped from the blonde's soft lips.

 _"_ Even from my bullies..." Armin's face scrunched up in confusion. "But _you_? I never thought... you'd do this to me."

The last thing Jean saw before before the door slammed, were two vibrant blue eyes, filling with tears…

He had finally done it… This was bound to happen eventually. Jean has grown accustom to hurting the people he loved. And now, he’s finally… gone too far.


	15. Just Visiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean visits Eren at the hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't edit this chapter as much as usual so if you find mistakes, my apologizes.

Chapter Fifteen

(Just Visiting)

POV: **Jean**

Jean kept the phone pressed to his ear, wincing at the girl's harsh choice of words.

"I hope you fucking die- you sick fuck."

He sat silently on his bed, the gray comforter entangled within his feet.

It has been nearly a week since Armin stormed out, Jean's phone blew up with texts and calls from Mikasa during those cruel seven days. And when Jean finally decided to answer the girl's calls, he was not surprised by her anger. Eren was in the hospital because of him, and _Armin_ was upset... Because of him... Mikasa, the strongest woman Jean knew, was sobbing through the phone... Because of _him_. All of this pain, misery, distraught; Jean had caused each and every bit of it. And he drowned within those thoughts, gasping for air, for anything that could stable him. _Anything_ to convince himself that this shitty situation was not entirely his fault. But Jean couldn't... Couldn't find an excuse for his actions. And he didn't want to. Deep down, Jean knew he'd do something like this. Just like he did... at his old school... to his old friend.

"Monster." That's what Armin had called him... Jean's been called it many times, specifically after the "incident"... The word really didn't bother him much anymore. But with Armin, it was different. Once that venomous name escaped the blonde's lips, Jean felt his heart shatter, falling into the pit of his stomach.

"H-he's in a coma, who knows when he'll wake up..." Mikasa continued dolefully, "And it's all your fault."

Jean did not respond.

"His kidneys are permanently damaged, he needs a transplant."

Grief struck in.

"Armin offered his own, and so did I..."

 ...

 "But the doctors... they said neither of us are a match."

Jean remained speechless. His short breaths; the only confirmation that he was still on the line.

"Eren's body would only refuse our organs," Mikasa paused with a hitch of breath, "and he would die."

_Quiet_. Each end of the conversation halted briefly as Jean glanced towards his window. He was unable to latch onto one emotion. They flared in an inward war. Raging guilt, swarming anger, overwhelming sadness, they were all clashing against each other; demanding dominance.

"He's so far down on the waiting list... they don't know... if he'll make it in time. Eren... might die. And you'd be to blame."

Jean stopped breathing suddenly; his shoulders tensed.

"Armin would never forgive you..." The girl stopped, realizing she could no longer hear the teen's breaths. "...Jean? Hey, listen to me dammit!"

He stood quickly sliding on his shoes and coat. Jean stumbled around the small bedroom, quickly picking his phone up off the bed.

"Jean?!"

"I'm here- Hey, what's Eren's room number?"

Mikasa scoffed, "Does it ma-"

"Of course it matters!" Jean shouted in aggravation, already making his way out of the home. He ignored his mother's pleads and questions while pulling open the front door. "I made a promise to myself; to Armin. That I'd never let him get hurt, not again. And I won't let myself hurt him either."

"Where are you going with this?" She spat.

Jean pressed the phone between his shoulder and ear; quickly unlocking the car's door and stumbling inside.

"I'm going to right my wrongs, Mikasa."

***

"Eren Yeager, room 468" Jean muttered to the woman across the desk.

"That's on the third floor," The receptionist nodded politely, "The doctor will be running tests shortly."

Jean only blinked, before leaving the front desk and heading towards an elevator. The woman seemed stunned by his quiet actions, taking his silence as disrespect. But Jean didn't care, he didn't have the energy to do so.

He pressed the button leading to the third floor; just as another visitor rushed inside.

"Which floor?" Jean asked, his finger hoovering over the elevator keys.

"Third." The stranger replied.

"What a coincidence," Jean sighed, watching the heavy doors slide shut, "I'm heading there too..."

***

"Doctor Berner." Jean stood, shaking the man's hand. the doctor's hair was slicked back behind his ears and a dark hue covered the man's iris's; he was wearing contacts.

"Nice to meet you, are you here to visit Eren?" 

"Yeah." Jean spoke, looking around himself. Everything was sterilized and organized. White cabinets lined the far right wall. A pristine sink sat below those, and utensils of many kinds were placed throughout the room. But, what really caught his attention was the blue curtain hanging from one end of the wall to the other. He could only assume that that's where Eren was being held.

"We've had visitors for this kid all day," Doctor Berner chuckled, grabbing the curtain carefully and drawing back. On the other end of thick, blue drapes revealed what Jean feared most. Eren was sleeping peacefully atop a thin white mattress, IV's ran through the boy's arms; tubes, that Jean had never seen before, were stuffed up Eren's nose and mouth. An oxygen mask was placed over the brunette's face. "everyone's worried about him. Are you a friend of his?"

"Yes, a good friend." Jean smiled reassuringly. He didn't want to get kicked out of the room if he answered honestly.

"Well," Mr. Berner sighed scratching the back of his head. "I'll leave you alone for a bit then..."

Jean clenched his fists, wondering if he should still go through with his plan.

_No_ , He thought to himself. _This is the right thing to do... if not for myself or Eren then, at the very least, for Armin._

And that's all it took for Jean to call out the doctor's name.

"Hm?" The man asked, turning his head to the side.

"I-I'd like to donate my own kidneys!" 

The doctor smiled, "Both?"

"Yes!" Jean demanded, "take them both! He needs them right?!"

Beads of sweat formed against the teen's neck. Jean knew that he would die without his kidney's, but he was stubborn and nothing was going to change his mind. He wasn't doing this to be a hero, and he wasn't doing this for attention or glory. He was doing this for Armin. 

_I know what it's like to lose your best friend,_ Jean told himself, _and I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy. Armin... he needs Eren more than he needs me. And this is my choice to make!_

"You do realize," Doctor Berner quirked an eyebrow, "You can live with only one kidney."

"W-wait, what?" Jean sputtered.

"Eren only needs one, but I'm glad you were willing to help that much."

A huge weight lifted off Jean's chest and he sat down slowly; his breath escaping him, "O-Oh- thank god."

"Wait a second- you mean to tell me..." The man snickered uncontrollably, "You came in here- thinking you were gonna die for this kid? From a _kidney_ transplant?"

"W-ell yeah..." Jean admitted in embarrassment. 

"Ah, don't worry about it kid," He paused, "I'm more worried about how much you worked yourself up for this! Well anyway, I need to run a few blood tests and make sure you two are a match first."

"That's fine." Jean mumbled, holding his head in his hands; completely relieved. "I'm just glad to be _alive_."

"You know..." Dr. Berner spoke, wiping off and sterilizing a needle. "You could be saving his life by doing this. I'm sure, The kid's so far down on the waiting list for an organ donation..." A look of sympathy crossed the man's face. Jean glanced behind him and towards Eren. "Don't tell the other's I said this... But, Eren wouldn't make it in time. If you aren't a match well..."

The doctor stopped talking, but Jean could assume what he was going to say.

_If you don't match, this kid's gonna die._

The man inched closer, holding a needle in his gloved hand. Jean swallowed nervously; holding out his arm.

"You're not scared of needles are you?" Dr. Berner chuckled. A wet sterilization wipe slid over Jean's wrist.

"N-no of course not, Doctor Berner." Jean lied, squeezing his eyes shut. He forced his arm to stop shaking as the man pressed the needle's tip into his vein.

"You can just call me Moblit."

"O-oh okay. A-are you done yet? Can I open my eyes?"

A laugh sounded from the other end of the room; Jean took that as a yes. He peeled open his eyes to see the man pouring a red liquid into a clear tube next to the sink. Jean felt his stomach churn in disgust.

"It will take awhile to get back the results," Moblit spoke, popping a cap onto the test tube, "until then, I'll leave you two alone, alright?"

"Alright." Jean whispered, rubbing his likely bruised arm. "Thank you."

The doctor, who wore white from head to toe, only nodded before stepping out of the room. 

Silence followed the man's absence.

Jean's attention turned to the boy lying in the hospital bed, surrounded by steady, mechanic, beeps. He stood slowly, making his way over to the chair that sat next to the sleeping boy. Eren's eyes remained screwed shut; his nose turned towards the ceiling. Jean sat down slowly watching the sleeping teen with suspicion. As if Eren would suddenly jolt from the bed screaming bloody murder.

He wasn't sure of what to say, Jean knew Eren wouldn't be able to hear him either way... But it was still worth a shot.

“C… Come on man, don’t you see what you’re doing to him..?" Jean started breathlessly, shifting in his chair, "Mikasa said that he won’t eat, won’t sleep… And when we're at school, Armin won't even _look_ at me. I don’t get to see… his beautiful smile anymore. Sure, it sounds selfish of me, but you’re worse. Can you imagine what would happen if you don’t make it out of this alive? You asshole. He’d die, not metaphorically, no Armin would actually die without you. Do you want that?" Jean scooted closer to the bed's frame. "You don’t want that, I _know_ you don’t! You love Armin just as much as me, don’t you!? Maybe your love is platonic but it’s still love, dammit! You don’t hurt the people you love, you jus t _don’t_. And I guess I’m a hypocrite for saying that, but I can’t take back what I did. You can! You still have a chance to fix this, just wake up."

Jean hasn’t cried since… Well, since the incident at his old school. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to cry over some suicidal bastard lying in a hospital bed. So he could only hang his head in shame. 

Cautiously, Jean stood, taking Eren's shoulders into his hands. "I’m sorry, okay? Just get up and fix this, make him smile the way I can’t. Make him happy again, I’d give anything for that, e-even if he still hates me afterwards…" 

Eren couldn't provide a response.

"J-just… Please man, I’m begging you, I know you hate me. I know I caused all this, but I take it back! I take back everything I said! You and Armin have a bond even stronger than ours. He _needs_ you!" Jean pushed back his tears, "Armin... No, I can’t lose someone I love, not again. Please... wake up soon. I promise, I’ll be kinder. I won’t call you a suicidal bastard anymore, how’s that sound?" A sad chuckle escaped the teen's chapped lips.

Eren's chest rose and deflated in even breaths. 

"And we’ll fight less, maybe even go without an argument for a day or so. Armin wouldn’t have to split up our fights. We’d be on the same football team and work together for once. Everything and everyone will be better off. All you have to do is wake up from this shitty coma after the transplant." 

Jean checked the clock impatiently. He's been here for almost two hours. A quiet knock followed by the doctor's voice sounded outside the room.

" _Please_ , Eren." Jean whispered, "If not for me, then for him."

***

"I'm..." Jean trailed off with a smile. The doctor nodded enthusiastically, handing the teen multiple papers.

"Yeah, you're a match alright!"

Jean looked down at the many documents in his hands.

"I just need your parent's signature," Moblit nodded at the white sheets, "you also need to read through the health risks of this operation and we can commence the transplant as soon as you're ready."

"Really?"

"Yes, as long as you're okay with that."

"O-of course!" Jean beamed, grinning at the floor, "thank you so much, goodbye!" He headed towards the room's exit with a surge of happiness.

"No," Mr. Berner laughed, "thank _you. Y_ ou're the one saving this kids' life ya' know."

Jean shook his head dismissively, pulling open the wooden door, "Right... I'll see you soon, Doctor."

"See you soon."


	16. Post-Op Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin and Mikasa visit Eren and Jean in the hospital.

Chapter Sixteen

(Post-Op Recovery)

POV: **Armin**

"Jean's what?!"

Mikasa shrugged, stepping inside Armin's home. The atmosphere was stiff. "That's what he said. He goes into surgery in thirty minutes."

She set her bag upon the maroon couch before taking a seat herself. 

"T-that idiot!" Armin sputtered, pacing around the room. His gaze was fixated on the carpeted floor. "What the hell does he think he's doing?!"

"Armin," Mikasa sighed, patting the spot next to her, "just sit down and breath."

Reluctantly, the blonde sat beside her, "Why wouldn't he tell me he's giving Eren his kidney?"

"Maybe because he knows you're pissed at him?"

Armin opened his mouth to protest, but then closed it again in realization. He couldn't deny that he was angry with Jean. Beyond that even. But he didn't hate the guy for Christs sake, so why would Jean keep such a vital piece of information from him?

"He's not a bad guy you know." Mikasa said suddenly.

Armin turned his head to face her, "Who? ... _Jean_?"

"Yeah, _Jean._ " she mocked, "He just... made a mistake."

"A pretty colossal mistake if you ask me..." The blonde grumbled defiantly.

"Listen to me alright? Can you really blame him for being human?"

Mikasa shuffled, facing Armin, staring into his eyes. In turn, Armin swallowed thickly, trying his hardest to maintain eye-contact.

"You two, you're friends for a reason alright? All those things you like about him, all the reasons you've started talking to Jean, think about those..."

And Armin did.

He thought about the moment when he first met Jean on the bus. How hard he fell over the boy's incredible good looks and athleticism.

Armin recalled Jean sticking up for him multiple times. At lunch, from the bullies, and from Reiner...

He remembered how much trouble Jean went through to cheer him up, how hard he struggled to get an ounce of emotion out of the blonde.

And Armin knew now, that Jean would do all those things again.

"Remember those," Mikasa continued, "and once you do, use that goddamn brain of yours. Because I know you have one. Do you _really_ think Jean is doing this for Eren? Because he feels bad?"

"...Yes?" Armin whispered.

"Partially," She leaned in, "but that's not the real reason, and you know it. Jean's doing this, to make it up to _you_... Jean's doing this, because he cares about how you feel, even if you still hate him afterwards. That's how much he's willing to risk for your happiness."

Armin struggled to find a response.

"A person like that... They're the type of people you need to hold onto. And I'm not saying he's perfect," Mikasa scoffed, "he's actually a fucking dickhead when it comes to Eren. But that's not the point... Well I mean-"

"I understand." Armin interjected, running his hand through his bangs. "I just don't think... I can forgive him yet."

"And you shouldn't. But if you think about it, I doubt Jean and Eren will fight anymore after this."

Armin felt his throat constrict, "Speaking of Eren... Did he- really try to kill himself? What happened when he was gone for that week?"

Mikasa's gaze shifted to the side, She knew this question would come up eventually, "Eren... was upset."

"I need you to elaborate a bit."

"One night after school, he didn't come home. I found him in the rain, crying on the side of the street." Armin listened to her intently, "Eren wouldn't tell me what happened but.. I knew. He had called you seven times. So I just assumed that he was feeling... replaced?"

"Replaced? By who?"

"Jean obviously," Mikasa scratched the back of her head, "you didn't answer any of his calls, and hung out with Jean a lot more than usual. Eren's very protective over you and... I guess he thought you found someone better than him."

"W-what?" Armin asked in shock, "That's why Eren confronted Jean, and h-he swallowed those pills. Because of me?"

"Armin-" 

"You mean... From the very beginning this was... all my fault?"

"Armin- Stop." Mikasa placed her hand on the blonde's shoulder, "This can only be blamed on a lack of communication. Nothing more, nothing less. Just calm down, okay?"

"R-right."

A numb silence began to fill the room. Both teens had run out of words to say. Without Eren, it was hard to keep a conversation. He would always throw in his usual sarcastic comments and helped topics transition smoothly. But now the boy was gone, and neither of them knew how to function without him. To be honest, it wouldn't be far-fetched to say Eren brought meaning into their life's. Eren is Mikasa's whole world, she'd do anything for him. And Armin, he'd do the same.

All they wanted right now, was for everything to go back to the way it once was. With Eren smiling, happy, and healthy. But Armin, He wanted that for Jean too.

"Should we... go visit them then?" Armin suggested in a whisper.

Mikasa stood soundlessly with a curt nod. And together the two teenagers, who had so little in common, but held such a strong bond, exited Mr. Arlert's home. Raven locks, and blonde fringes, they were so different, yet, in an odd way, so alike.

***

"What do you mean 'the surgery was already completed?'" Mikasa snarled, leaning over the receptionist's desk. A small nurse, who held a clipboard to her chest, stared back at her.

"Just that," The nurse replied hesitantly, looking over at the blonde next to the teen, "The doctor thought it'd be best if we'd preform the operation as soon as possible. And, thankfully, everyone's still alive."

Armin spoke up suddenly, "Is Eren awake yet?" 

"No..." The nurse paused as Mikasa tensed, "He's still in a coma I'm afraid. But, the other boy is awake and healthy. You can... visit them if you like?" 

"Yes, we would." Mikasa confirmed.

"O-okay, right this way, please." The nurse took off down a hallway and the two teens followed close behind. 

"You're being too intimidating again." Armin whispered, watching the nurse from the corner of his eye. 

"Oh? Sorry..." 

They continued walking down the seemingly endless corridor until the nurse stopped at a door on the far right. 

"We had to relocated Eren's room to preform the operation. So for now, he's staying in room 127."

"Thank you, " Armin smiled, hoping to make up for the girl's cold actions, "we appreciate the help."

The nurse's eyes flickered to Mikasa, who was already stepping inside the room. "N-no problem." 

With that, the nurse had left, leaving Armin alone in a dimly lit hallway. Exhaling deeply, the small blonde stepped inside the hospital room. He was afraid... of many things. Armin was afraid of seeing Eren, afraid of confrontation with Jean, and he was afraid his friend would never wake up again. But, fear has never gotten anyone very far. So, Armin concluded, he wasn't going to run away. He owed Eren this much, at least, a simple visit. 

When he stepped inside the blinding white room, Mikasa had already perched herself upon the corner of Eren's bed. The brunette was sleeping soundlessly, his eyes held dark bags underneath them. Different arrangements of needles and all sorts of tubes ran through the boy's skin. The sight was enough to make Armin gag. The blonde quickly ripped his gaze away from Eren, only to lock onto another color. A golden-brown. 

 "Jean." Armin whispered begrudgingly, taking a small step forward. Jean sat upright, he was motionless, unblinking... completely still. Almost like a statue. "should you really be sitting up in your condition? You just had surgery."

 "Armin." Jean chocked out, "Armin I'm-" 

 "Save it." The blonde sighed. He didn't want to hear anymore apologies. Armin was tired of being treated like a glass ornament, he could handle himself, he can handle the truth. Yet despite this, no one decided to tell him about this operation. Something that could cost either, or even both, of his friends life's. 

 Armin began to massage his temples, taking a seat beside Jean's bed. 

 "It's good- to see you." Jean's voice came out is hoarse whispers. Armin only nodded in response. Mikasa sat at the other end of the room, mumbling something incoherent to the sleeping boy. Armin decided not to eavesdrop on her private conversation. 

 "I'll get you some water, then." Armin stood, making his way over to the sink. He searched the cabinets on his tippy-toes before fishing out a paper cup. Jean attempted to suppress a fit of coughs as the blonde returned, water in hand. 

 "Thank you." He managed to say, taking the cup from Armin's hand. The blonde returned to his seat, watching Jean intently as he swallowed the tap-water in unnecessarily large gulps.

"When can you come back to school?" 

Jean set the nearly-empty cup down before responding, "Fairly soon, less than a week... They think."

"I assume you'll need someone to help you with your late-work then?" 

Jean grinned, "Are you offering?" 

Armin only shrugged sadly. And Jean's momentary grin quickly faded away.

"Look Armin, I really am," Jean cleared his throat, "I really am sorry." 

" _Jean_." Armin interrupted irritably. 

"No, I'm serious," The teen attempted to scoot forward in his bed, only to wince in pain. "Ugh." 

"Stop moving around like that,' Armin scolded, "I _know_ , I get that you're sorry. This surgery proves that, but can you just stop apologizing for one second?" 

Jean seemed hopeful, "Does that mean, if I do, you'll forgive me?"

Armin wanted to respond but was caught off by Mikasa's frantic words. 

"Guys? Armin, come over here!" 

Armin stood in a rush, "What is it?" 

"It's Eren!" Mikasa breathed. Jean watched the two in silence, "He's waking up!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took so long to update, not only that but this chapter is pretty short. I've been so overwhelmed with school work and my home life that I forgot about this. I apologize in advance if future updates are sporadic.


	17. A Cheerful Redemption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean finally gets the balls to ask Armin to homecoming.

_Chapter Seventeen_

(A Cheerful Redemption)

POV: **Jean**  *Mostly*

 

Weeks passed by in a haze.

 

Both Eren and Jean were healthy.

 

During thier solitude at the hospital, before they were released, they made an important decision. Eren and Jean made a promise to each other that they'd try thier hardest to get along. If not for thier sake, then for Armin's. The boy shouldn't have to sit through thier arguments every second of everyday without pause. And, to be honest, the two teens were tired of fighting as well.

 

They also concluded that it'd be best if they didn't join the football team. Jean; because he refused to work alongside Armin's attacker. And Eren; because the hospital wouldn't allow him to. So, that's how they came to the position they were currently in.

 

"Jean! What the hell man?!" Eren whispered harshly. The room was dark and damp. "What is this place?"

 

"The janitor's closet..."

 

"Okay," Eren chuckled nervously, backing away to leave the room, "this is getting weird now."

 

Jean grabbed his arm, "No wait! Hear me out first."

 

The brunette sighed irritably, pulling his arm out of the other's grasp, "Fine. What is it?"

 

"It's..." Jean exhaled shakily, "about Armin."

 

Eren rose a brow, "I thought you already told me everything that he'd kept a secret. The bullies, the depression, his scars. What else is there?"

 

After Eren awoke from his coma at the hospital a few weeks prior, Armin broke into a depressing sob, before admitting everything he's kept hidden; including how he'd been attacked by Annie and two other students. "I'm so sorry! I'll never lie to you ever again, Eren!" The boy had cried.

 

Eren was caught up on everything he'd been excluded from; or so, he thought.

 

The taller male began to shuffle his feet. And because of this, Eren became suspicious.

 

"Jean? Seriously, did something bad happen to him?"

 

"N-no," Beads of sweat formed against his nape, "nothing like that."

 

"Annie's coming back to school soon, is it about that?"

 

"No..."

 

"What is it then?" The brunette scoffed.

 

Jean's eyes fell to the floor and his throat constricted, "Well... homecoming is coming up soon, and-"

 

"No." Eren interrupted.

 

Jean blinked owlishly, meeting the other's gaze, "What?"

 

"I'm not going to homecoming with you."

 

The teen had a hard time holding back his laughter as Eren crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. "Me?!" Jean snorted, "With you?!"

 

Eren coughed awkwardly, "Wasn't that what you we're going to ask?"

 

"Hell no!" He chortled, "I was going to ask Armin to go with me."

 

"Oh." The brunette smiled for a brief moment. And then, realization dawned on him, "Wait, what did you just say?"

 

Jean made his way towards the door before yanking it open, "So, I have your permission right?"

 

"Wait, no! I never said tha-"

 

"Cool, thanks!" Jean smiled, stepping outside of the closet, "Ah, I'm so glad we're getting along now Eren, aren't you?"

 

And with that, the 'horse-faced' boy was gone. Eren stood in shock, his mouth slightly agape. Did that really just happen?

 

_How dare he trick me like that? That asshole!_

 

"Mr. Yeager!"A voiced boomed. Eren jumped slightly, turning his gaze to meet a man's. This man was short... very short.

 

"O-oh! Hello Mr. Ackerman, Sir!" Eren sputtered with his arms pressed into his sides.

 

Everyone in this school held a great respect towards the eldest English teacher; Levi Ackerman. He may be short, and moody, and sometimes cold-hearted by giving out piles of homework on Fridays, But Mr. ackerman could kick just about anyone's ass. Perhaps this short man was even more intimidating than thier principal; Erwin Smith.

 

Levi sneered, "Why are you in the janitor's closet?"

 

The brunette looked behind himself, and then, back towards the man, "Um... Well, you see... I just needed some soap. Yeah, some soap! And, well-"

 

"Nevermind," Mr. Ackerman pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance, "just get to class, brat."

 

"Right!" Eren nodded polity, despite his nerves being at an alltime high, "Yes, Sir!"

 

Once Levi was sure that the teen had turned the corner, he swallowed thickly. He was almost caught sneaking into the supply closet... Agian. You see, this english teacher had a bad habit of 'borrowing' the school's cleaning supplies. It wasn't something he was necessarily proud of...

 

***

 

"So, Armin, are you going to homecoming this year?" Jean asked during the walk towards the bus.

 

"I'm not sure yet," The blonde shrugged, "I don't really have anyone to go with..."

 

And then, a bright smile overtook Jean's face. He had been working up to this moment for a while now. He'd spent countless hours rehearsing in front of his mirror how he'd ask the boy this question. It was a simple thing really, "Hey Armin, will you go to homecoming with me?" But, for some reason, the word's caught within his throat. A warm blush crawled up the teen's neck, dusted over his cheeks, and latched onto his ears. The possibility of rejection was starting to enter Jean's mind.

 

_What if Armin says no? What if I creep him out? What if he hates me afterwards?!_

 

Armin looked at Jean, his features portraying a great amount of concern, "Woah, Jean, are you okay? Your face is really red."

 

'Y-Yeah, um..." Jean bit his lip, before deciding to just blurt his question out, hoping that the repercussions wouldn't be too severe. "Will you go to the dance with me?"

 

Armin stopped suddenly, "Like... a date?"

 

"Yes," Jean nodded, shifting from foot to foot, "a date."

 

The blonde paused, before shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly, "Sure, why not?"

 

"Great!" The other grinned, a bright aurora sounded him, "Um, I'll pick you up at seven on Friday then?"

 

"Sounds good." Armin giggled at the teen's euphoric reaction.

 

"O-okay, then! I'll see you tomorrow, Armin!" Jean rushed off to his car, waving goodbye to the small blonde. And once he thought he was out of sight, he broke into a victory dance.

 

Happiness wasn't something Jean found easily. So, he relished this moment, shouting with glee in the middle of an empty parking lot. 

 

"I'm going with Armin, I'm going with Armin!" He chanted blissfully.

 

Armin watched him from afar, snickering every now and then. Deep down, the blonde was happy too. Happy that he didnt have to initiate the first step between them. Truth be told, Armin had been interested in Jean too. He was just too shy to admit that out loud. And now, he didn't have to.

 

Mikasa will be delighted to hear this...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowie, long time no see, am I right?! Well, I decided I want to rewrite some of the previous chapters on here, so I updated. I hope my writing has improved a bit!

**Author's Note:**

> Please bear with me, the chapters improve as you read.


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